The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#availability #entertainment #games #devices #individuals #society

Nowadays, some

people

think that the accessibility of amusement, like PC

games

and console

games

, will be detrimental to

people

in the community where they live. I partially agree with the given statement, and I will elaborate on it in

this

essay. On the one hand, these days, many

games

come out to the world. Some

games

use

people

's knowledge and play with a team.

As a result

, numerous folks can learn leadership and cooperation.

For example

, the

game

called League of Legends.

This

game

must be played with at least two friends or others, and when five

people

match, the

game

starts.

In addition

, they should think about strategy during the

game

and communicate with each other eventually, they can win the

game

Besides

this

game

does not include any violent and harmful content,

for

this

reason, all

games

are not hurtful to our societies.

On the other hand

, some

games

include violent and criminal content. A few youngsters like

games

such

as using guns killing folks, destroying buildings and stealing cars.

For instance

, there is a

game

called GTA.

This

game

can do anything in a virtual area.

Consequently

, some kids decide to engage in criminal activity in real communities

thus

the crime rate goes up.

Furthermore

, If you too much spend time to

games

, you can get addicted. So, they cannot adapt to real society. In conclusion, I partially agree with the given statement.

Games

help

people

's characters,

conversely

, some parts do not. So, we should think about how

games

affect individuals and that will prevent harmful things and be good for our young generations.

Submitted by livewire53 on Mon Sep 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

Provide clear topic sentences in each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments.

lexical resource

Consider using a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely.

grammatical range

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

detrimental
adverse
excessive
physical and mental health issues
dependency
hinder
social skills development
academic performance
productivity
real-life experiences
social interactions
addiction
gambling
harmful behaviors

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