IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that going to a fitness centre regularly is unnecessary. Instead, they believe that combining occasional exercise (such as going for walks) with a balanced diet is enough to stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #fitness #centre #exercise #diet
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people believe that consistently attending fitness centres is unnecessary. Contrary, they are convinced that a combination of occasional exercise with a balanced diet is sufficient to remain healthy. I personally agree that regular exercise is not enough to have a sustainable healthy
life
,
hence
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 diet is needed to ensure a long-term healthy
life
. The development of the human body depends on
nutrients
Correct article usage
the nutrients
show examples
 that we consume,
consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
show examples
 food we take plays a big role when it comes to staying healthy. Scientifically, it is proven that exercising only contributes 20%
while
 our alimentation contributes 80% to having a healthy lifestyle. On the ground of that folks should focus on their alimentation
instead
 of physical exercise. It's not bad to focus on going to the gym every day and you may even lose some pounds, losing them does not give you a guarantee of a healthy
life
. The human brain needs some specific nutrients to be able to function and the entire body does the same.
Therefore
, a sustainable healthy
life
 requires a strict balanced diet. I conclude by saying that start early if you want to be healthy and for a very long time,
then
 that becomes a culture. It is not always easy to change eating habits,
however
, once you have been following the same habit it becomes a lifestyle.
Submitted by tuclemy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: