Some people believe that it is good idea to express their point of view and ideas through social media however others believe opposite do you agree or disagree

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Recently, social media has evolved and enabled its users to connect to people around the globe. Some say that it is a good idea to speak their minds and deliver some ideas through it.

However

, others believe the opposite of it. I agree that we should not talk freely about our own minds without boundaries because not everyone is able to comprehend what we are talking about,

due to

harsh words they are spitting towards us.

Moreover

, their actions are able to make us feel unhappy,

thus

making us stressed and overthinking. Delivering our perspectives on social media has its own disadvantages,

such

as receiving bad reactions and looking at harsh responses from the masses. Posting and commenting on Instagram or Twitter might be unhealthy for us sometimes because we do not understand what other users think.

For example

, if someone posts their content on Twitter, netizens are free to comment whatever they like, and one should always accept the reactions they express. In short, expressing unique ideas or thoughts on social media should be thoroughly thought out to avoid uncomfortable results. Toxic and discriminating comments are able to make us depressed. There are many influencers that have encountered mean reactions online which are caused by the anonymity possessed by users.

For instance

, in South Korea, there are many YouTubers that had had enough and committed suicide because of

this

phenomenon.

To sum up

, these actions that are done by many are able to make someone stressed and want to take their lives away. In conclusion, I agree that one who does not have mental stability should not post personal statements and perspectives online because they trigger others to bully and if one is not strong enough to handle it,

then

depression and suicide cases will increase.

Submitted by twiggseducationbdg on Mon Sep 04 2023

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Essay Development

Make sure to provide a balanced view when discussing topics that involve opinion-based arguments to showcase an understanding of both sides of the argument, even if you lean more towards one perspective. This can be achieved by dedicating a paragraph to acknowledging alternative viewpoints before explaining why you favor your stance.

Language Use

To further enhance your essay, consider integrating a wider range of transitional phrases to seamlessly connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will not only improve the flow of your writing but also help the reader understand the relationship between your points more clearly.

Organisation

You've demonstrated a strong capability to structure your essay logically, introducing your topic, presenting your arguments, and concluding effectively.

Content

Your capacity to support your main points with specific examples is commendable. This helps in making your argument more convincing and engaging for the reader.

Introduction & Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and present, effectively framing your argument and providing a strong closure to your discourse.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Some people believe that it is good idea to express their point of view and ideas through social media however others believe opposite do you agree or disagree

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