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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

At the present time, the people of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

#time #people #countries #adults
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At the present time, the people of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
This
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 essay will explain the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 situation which shows a demographic skew towards younger populations. The positive side is that a youthful
population
Use synonyms
 can drive economic growth as they form a large part of the workforce, contributing to productivity and innovation.
Secondly
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, they can lead to a vibrant and dynamic society in which these processes play an important role in social dynamism.
In addition
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, ageing public members can be supported by young adults seem to help the
population
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 through taxation and welfare systems. All these cases indicate that the growth of the youth is a sign in favour of the country.
On the other hand
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, the young increase can result in unemployment if there are not enough job opportunities and it can lead to social unrest, disenchantment, and wasted human potential.
While
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 young adults contribute to economic growth, they
also
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 need some services
such
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 as education and healthcare.
This
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 means, that there are more young dependents compared to the age
population
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 can strain resources and social services.
Although
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 a youthful
population
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 is advantageous in the short term, it can lead to challenges in the future as
this
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 cohort ages. There may be strain on healthcare systems and pension schemes when
this
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 large cohort reaches retirement age.
Finally
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,
this
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 case can pressure on infrastructure and it leads to overcrowding, inadequate services, and urban sprawl.
To conclude
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, despite the fact a youthful
population
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 can offer numerous advantages, it
also
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 presents challenges that affect society negatively.
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Task Achievement
To increase your score, consider providing more specific examples to support your points. This will demonstrate your ability to apply abstract ideas to real-world scenarios.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea and that these ideas are clearly linked. For example, try using transitional phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'In contrast.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Be cautious with word choice to avoid repetition. Using synonyms can make your essay more engaging and varied.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the essay.
Task Achievement
Your response is well-organized and addresses the task promptly, covering both the advantages and disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
The use of relevant ideas and logical arguments shows good critical thinking skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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