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Band 5

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#gym #methods
Nowadays, there are many
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
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 about how to maintain
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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 lifestyle. It leads to many individuals
believe
Wrong verb form
believing
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 that the best route to keep healthy is
go
Fix the infinitive
to go
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 to the
gym
,
whereas
 others hold the opposite view that more solutions are suitable for us to stay fit. From my perspective, though going to the
gym
 is not a bad idea, I agree with the opinion that it is better to use the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 method and I will illustrate during
this
 essay and try to draw
the
Correct article usage
a
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 conclusion. The top
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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reason why
people
 think going to
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
 is really good
because
Add a missing verb
is because
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 it is popular. What I mean is when
people
 want to keep fit or make a diet, they usually think about going to the
gym
 at first because it has a positive
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
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 on health if they have enough determination. In my opinion, going to the
gym
require
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requires
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people
 who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 a demand
of keeping
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to keep
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 healthy a lot of motivation, because they are affordable enough to pay a lot of money
on
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apply
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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and they will spend more
time
for
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in
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gym
Add an article
the gym
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instead
 of their job, family or anything else.
Moreover
, individuals are not
hard working
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hard-working
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 to work out as they waste both
time
 and money on
useless
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the useless
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thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 which
do
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does
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 not help
you
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apply
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improve
health
Correct pronoun usage
their health
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.
However
, there are many ways for
people
 to choose
for staying
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to stay
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 healthy with
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
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instead
 of going to the
gym
. They are able to save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
money and
time
 for their businesses.
For instance
,
people
 can go jogging or ride a bike around their
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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 when they have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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leisure
time
 as long as they do it constantly as a routine day by day. Some
people
 decide to go swimming in public swimming pools when they have free
time
 with family and friends,
this
 is a convenient choice to help them close to their
people
 and keep a healthy lifestyle as well. In conclusion, even though there are many
people
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
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 that it is best for them to decide to go to the
gym
, I believe that there are many effective ways for us to try because of its convenience and
useful
Replace the word
usefulness
show examples
.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • prime option
  • structured exercise routines
  • professional equipment
  • fostering an environment
  • motivation and discipline
  • counter-argument
  • outdoor activities
  • home workouts
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social and emotional satisfaction
  • team sports
  • hybrid approach
  • holistic approach
  • comprehensive benefits
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