IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#gym #methods
It is believed that spending time in the gym room is a good idea to stay in shape, others may hold a different viewpoint is that more efficient way to be used which attracts various consumers.
This
 essay will discuss both sides and present my perspective. On the one hand, having more time to work out in the fitness room has some benefits.
Firstly
, doing exercise helps them control weight. What I mean is when they take part in physical activity, they burn calories, help prevent excess heaviness gain and help them keep off lost weight.
Secondly
, it
also
 boosts their mood and provides energy for a whole day. When you do exercises, it will make up their mind and they feel more relaxed and comfortable.
Moreover
, it is considerable like a medicine to combat diseases and health conditions and helps lower the risk of death from all causes.
On the other hand
, there are more attractive ways to keep fit
such
 as cutting down on diet. Overweight people who want to lose weight tend to eat on an eat-clean diet.
Besides
, people want to save more money, so they can go for a walk in the park
instead
 of going to the gym. Parks have fresh air which make me relieves stress and exposure to sunlight.
Therefore
, there are many methods to enhance their health. From my perspective, I really want to spend my free time at the gymnasium because of the following reasons. In conclusion,
although
 more good methods to stay fit, I am deeply convinced that going to the gym plays a vital role in our life.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • prime option
  • structured exercise routines
  • professional equipment
  • fostering an environment
  • motivation and discipline
  • counter-argument
  • outdoor activities
  • home workouts
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social and emotional satisfaction
  • team sports
  • hybrid approach
  • holistic approach
  • comprehensive benefits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: