In some countries, many children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people say it is the responsibility of governments to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countries #children #people #responsibility #governments

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These days, the ubiquitous presence of fast food chains and a sedentary lifestyle

due to

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the fast-paced environment has caused many young people to become obese and unhealthy. I completely disagree with the idea that governmental bodies have the responsibility to tackle

this

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situation for two main reasons. One reason supporting my disagreement with

such

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an idea is its ineffective nature. Some may argue that increasing the price of fat-laden options or actively promoting a healthy lifestyle might have a positive impact on young children's mindsets.

However

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such

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a statement is flawed to me because the main factor leading to ailments associated with obesity is the lack of self-discipline.

In other words

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, even with a massive amount of advertisements that revolved around diets with macronutrients or exercise tutorials, the youths still can not upgrade their quality of life since they only had the intention to satiate their desire to enjoy the sugary foods or continue to maintain their sedentary lifestyle. Another point involves parents should not shirk an obligation as their children's primary guardians and become exemplary images for their sons and daughters to follow. Research has shown that the youths have a tendency to imitate their closest persons as a way to learn and adapt.

Therefore

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it is clear that

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young individuals who have parents who commonly consume products containing harmful substances on a daily basis would be futile in reducing obesity status, as opposed to strong kids who are sons and daughters to people who actually attend a sports club

instead

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of only merely advising. In conclusion, I give strong opposition to the statement that the authorities should take responsibility for ensuring a child's well-being because children must have self-discipline and their parents have to complete their roles as supervisors and share

this

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burden.

Submitted by ktebaeplease on Mon Sep 04 2023

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Vocabulary

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Grammar

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Development

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Structure

You have a clear structure in your essay, with well-defined paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. This makes your argument easy to follow.

Introduction & Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are both strong, clearly stating your position and summarizing your main points effectively.

Examples & Explanations

Your use of specific examples and explanations to support your points is commendable, contributing significantly to the coherence of your argument.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

epidemic
obesity
regulate
sedentary lifestyle
nutritional education
caloric intake
lifestyle diseases
physical inactivity
public health campaigns
regulatory measures
junk food
health initiatives
fiscal policies
metabolic disorders
parental guidance

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In some countries, many children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people say it is the responsibility of governments to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills, Do you agree or disagree?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Some people think that e-books are better to be used for education in order to go paperless. Discuss its advantages and disadvantages. Give your own opinion

Some people say that all secondary and higher secondary school students should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. Do you agree or disagree with this argument?

Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?