In some countries, many children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people say it is the responsibility of governments to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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These days, the ubiquitous presence of fast food chains and a sedentary lifestyle

due to

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the fast-paced environment has caused many young people to become obese and unhealthy. I completely disagree with the idea that governmental bodies have the responsibility to tackle

this

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situation for two main reasons. One reason supporting my disagreement with

such

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an idea is its ineffective nature. Some may argue that increasing the price of fat-laden options or actively promoting a healthy lifestyle might have a positive impact on young children's mindsets.

However

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such

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a statement is flawed to me because the main factor leading to ailments associated with obesity is the lack of self-discipline.

In other words

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, even with a massive amount of advertisements that revolved around diets with macronutrients or exercise tutorials, the youths still can not upgrade their quality of life since they only had the intention to satiate their desire to enjoy the sugary foods or continue to maintain their sedentary lifestyle. Another point involves parents should not shirk an obligation as their children's primary guardians and become exemplary images for their sons and daughters to follow. Research has shown that the youths have a tendency to imitate their closest persons as a way to learn and adapt.

Therefore

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it is clear that

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young individuals who have parents who commonly consume products containing harmful substances on a daily basis would be futile in reducing obesity status, as opposed to strong kids who are sons and daughters to people who actually attend a sports club

instead

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of only merely advising. In conclusion, I give strong opposition to the statement that the authorities should take responsibility for ensuring a child's well-being because children must have self-discipline and their parents have to complete their roles as supervisors and share

this

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burden.

ktebaepleaseMon Sep 04 2023

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Vocabulary

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Grammar

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Development

Remember to balance the development of your main points. While it's important to provide detailed explanations and examples, ensuring each point is fully explored will strengthen your argument.

Structure

You have a clear structure in your essay, with well-defined paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. This makes your argument easy to follow.

Introduction & Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are both strong, clearly stating your position and summarizing your main points effectively.

Examples & Explanations

Your use of specific examples and explanations to support your points is commendable, contributing significantly to the coherence of your argument.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

epidemic
obesity
regulate
sedentary lifestyle
nutritional education
caloric intake
lifestyle diseases
physical inactivity
public health campaigns
regulatory measures
junk food
health initiatives
fiscal policies
metabolic disorders
parental guidance

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In some countries, many children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people say it is the responsibility of governments to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The best way to solve environmental problems would be for the current generation to accept a simpler way of life for the sake of the next generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people like to own the place where they live, but other people like to rent where they live. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some companies sponsor sports as away to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. discuss boyh sides and give your opinion.

Many scientists are concerned about global warming. Research shows that the worldwide increase in temperature is getting worse. Furthermore, global warming seems to be related to levels of pollution in the atmosphere. Discuss the causes of global warming and possible solutions to the problem.