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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below provides information about weekly hours worked by Australian men and women in 2012.

The chart below provides information about weekly hours worked by Australian men and women in 2012.
#information #hours #australian #men #women
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The given bar graph illustrates the
proportion
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 of both sexes in Australia who worked weekly
hours
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 basis in 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest
proportion
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 was males who worked 20 or above working
hours
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 per week,
conversely
Linking Words
 the highest percentage of females can be seen in the below 20 weekly
hours
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categories
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. Regarding 20 or above
hours
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 per week sections, one-quarter of
men
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 have worked 20-29
hours
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,
whereas
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 approximately half of
women
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 have worked in the same
group
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. When it comes to the 30-39
hours
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group
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, one-fifth of gens have worked,
while
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 12% of females worked.
Moreover
Linking Words
, 17% of
men
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 can be seen in the 40+
hours
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 working
group
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,
nevertheless
Linking Words
 around half of
women
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 worked 40+
hours
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. Turning to the below 20-
hours
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categories
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, the
proportion
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 of
women
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 is higher than the
proportion
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 of
men
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 in all
categories
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.
While
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 4 % of gens worked 0-10
hours
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, 6% of ladies have worked that amount of time.
Furthermore
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, as is seen in the 11-14
hours
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 per week
group
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, 6% of
men
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 and 8% of
women
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 worked.
However
Linking Words
, approximately the same
proportion
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 of both sexes can be seen in the below 20-
hours
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categories
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.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, hours, categories, men, women, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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