IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Living in large cities today poses many problems for people. What are these problems? Should governments encourage more people to live in smaller towns?

#cities #people #governments #towns
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These days more and more
people
Use synonyms
 moving to big
cities
Use synonyms
 from rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 for better employment and
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 lifestyle
however
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 situation creates numerous
problems
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such
Linking Words
 as pollution and overcrowding. But the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 can take
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 steps to curb
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this
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
 and encourage
people
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 not to leave small towns.
This
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 essay will
further
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 elaborate
both
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on both
show examples
problems
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 and solutions. To commence with, Migration to metropolitan
cities
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 creates a plethora of
problems
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.
FIrst
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First
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 and foremost is overcrowding. As
popullation
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population
 is increasing rapidly
people
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 are moving to large
cities
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 for better job
opportunity
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opportunities
show examples
 and infrastructure.
Hence
Linking Words
cities
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 are facing
problem
Add an article
the problem
a problem
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 of overcrowding.
Due to
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this
Linking Words
 metro
cities
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adequate living space.
For example
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 , Mumbai
city has
Verb problem
does
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 not
enough
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have enough
show examples
 living space for
people
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therefore
Linking Words
people
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 live in slum
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
Secondly
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, with the increase of public in big
cities
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 ,
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
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 of living and
automobile
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automobiles
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 has risen.
people
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owns
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own
show examples
 their own vehicle to commute.
Therefore
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 air pollution has increased
significantlly
Correct your spelling
significantly
. Another negative effect of migration is ,
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people
Correct word choice
that people
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 are cutting
forset
Correct your spelling
forests
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 to make more houses and commercial buildings and making it
Correct article usage
a concreate
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concreate
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concrete
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 jungle.
Hence
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, It affects
Correct article usage
the enviornment
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enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
. To curb
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this
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
problems
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 , The government should encourage
people
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 not to move from small
town
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towns
show examples
 by providing better facilities in rural areas
such
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 as fresh water, superb infrastructure and better employment
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
.
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people
Capitalize word
People
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 are moving because metro
cities
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 has facilities that small town
dosent
Verb problem
do not
show examples
 have
therefore
Linking Words
 government should invest more to develop rural
are
Correct your spelling
areas
show examples
 and make more amends to give better education and spend more money on developing small towns.By doing
this
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 it
also
Linking Words
solve
Change the verb form
solves
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 the
enviornmental
Correct your spelling
environmental
problems
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 too. To summarise, by agglomerating all the points aforementioned above,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of
people
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 settling in big
cities
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 cause many
problems
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 to
cities
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 and
Correct article usage
the enviorment
show examples
enviorment
Correct your spelling
environment
however
Linking Words
 the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
solve
Correct subject-verb agreement
solves
show examples
 it by providing better
aminities
Correct your spelling
amenities
 and spending more money to develop urban areas.
Submitted by bhumikashah1414 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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