IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think eating meat is bad for health. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, society is able to decide what types of food they would like to eat and how healthy that would be for our organism. Discussion about eating
meat
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 has a long history and still continues now. I believe that overeating
meat
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 has an adverse impact on our mental and physical health because
this
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 could lead to huge risks of different diseases and more global
problems
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 that
result
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 in a high level of stress.
Meat
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 was the prior product for some communities for a long period of time
due to
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 the fact that it includes a lot of essential elements and
also
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 has a large number of calories. Despite that it includes a considerable amount of fat acids which could lead to atherosclerosis if they prevail in the diet,
this
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 is the main factor for cardiac pathologies.
Besides
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, eating
meat
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 on a daily basis could
result
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 in
problems
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 with the digestive system over long distances.
According to
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 the data from the WHO, people who have used
meat
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 in their daily diet for many years have a huge risk of cardiovascular diseases and colon cancer.
Although
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, raising cows on farms has a huge impact on the environment
,
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 because these animals produce greenhouse gases, like methane and
this
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 could
result
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 in global
problems
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 like ozone layer depletion and climate change. All of these factors have a considerable influence on our mental health.
For instance
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, an increase in the amount of ultraviolet leads to headaches and for a long period of time results in stress and depression. In conclusion, eating
meat
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 could have harmful effects on our physical activity, because it leads to a problem with the cardiac system and producing
meat
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 connects with environmental issues that
result
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 in mental
problems
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.

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coherence cohesion
Include a thesis statement at the end of the introduction to clearly state your position.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Provide a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points.
grammatical range lexical resource
Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to improve grammatical range and lexical resource scores.
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