Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Many
people
believe that schools should educate children to be nice residents and employees instead
of turning them into a
beneficial Correct article usage
apply
person
. Fix the agreement mistake
people
This
author agrees with this
statement due to
the priority for the general interest and the trend of socialization.
The first key factor that must be considered is that the general interests
of the whole community would be more important. It is essential to understand that if we can ensure the largest interest, each of us can benefit from it and because we live together in a society, we have to put the general interests
the first target. As a result
, individual interests
will be a part of the general one and everybody has to bring their benefits to contribute to the overall
benefits. For instance
, while
the COVID-19 pandemic is spreading, people
have to wear a mask when they go out and that is
useless for them Those masks will protect other people
and if everybody wears masks, the pandemic cannot spread quickly and it is easy to be wiped out.
Another thing that should be mentioned is that the trend of socialization is becoming more and more popular. It means that people
tend to live and work
for the community rather than do it for themselves.
Therefore
, many countries all around the world have started to connect their citizens together and there are more and more multinational companies where people
can work
with other people
from any nation in the world. Take Microsoft Corporation as an example, this
is one of the giants in technology and they operate in hundreds of nations so employees in the same companies have to work
with many other people
from other nations and they all work
for Microsoft's interests
.
To conclude
, schools should turn children into good citizens and workers because of the priority for overall
advantages and the trend of socialization. Hence
, the main purpose of schools should not be making them benefit as an individual.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
The essay should have a clear and concise thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your stance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to maintain logical flow and structure.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points more effectively, as this will strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Work on refining your arguments to make them clearer and more comprehensive for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smooth logical flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The main points are relevant to the topic and provide a solid argument in support of the thesis.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical sequence in presenting the arguments, making the essay reasonably easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.