IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#gym #methods
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A bunch of people have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thought that the best way to get in shape is going to the
gym
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 others say there are more useful and effective choices to keep fit.
This
Linking Words
 writer will give
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
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 point of view of two options and decide the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
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 decision is the better one. First of all, Going to the
gym
Use synonyms
 is the most popular
methods
Fix the agreement mistake
method
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 that everyone has known and decide first when they want to
training
Change the verb form
train
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 their bodies. At the
gym
Use synonyms
 clubs, there are a lot of training tools for athletes to practice in all kinds of training,
they
Capitalize word
They
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also
Linking Words
 have some snacks and healthy foods for gymers and they can rent a private trainer to take
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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 from them. But going to the
gym
Use synonyms
 clubs regularly
pay
Correct subject-verb agreement
pays
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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quite
unreasonable
Correct article usage
an unreasonable
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 cost and the clubs can not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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always be
opened
Replace the word
open
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 for them to come so it would be a big problem for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 in bad conditions and busy with their jobs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct your spelling
they
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 decide to do something
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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similar to
doing
Correct your spelling
going
show examples
gym
Use synonyms
 but have a small difference like doing yoga, running,
practice
Wrong verb form
or practising
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 with their own dumbbell,… is not
effective
Rephrase
as effective
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 as going to
Use synonyms
gym
Add an article
the gym
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, but it
simple
Add a missing verb
is simple
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 and cheap for everybody so that they can do it regularly and saving money for important things and if they want to take advices, they can take it from the internet.
To
Change preposition
In
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 conclusion, going to the
gym
Use synonyms
 is the method for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 rich and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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plenty of free time so the second option is more comfortable for everyone
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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so
that is
Linking Words
 why I support it.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • prime option
  • structured exercise routines
  • professional equipment
  • fostering an environment
  • motivation and discipline
  • counter-argument
  • outdoor activities
  • home workouts
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social and emotional satisfaction
  • team sports
  • hybrid approach
  • holistic approach
  • comprehensive benefits
What to do next:
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