Some people believe more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think thay little can be done. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

A growing number of individuals assume that there are several ways to restrict

crime

committed

whereas

the remainder express concern that not much action can be taken. In my point of view, I agree with the latter statement. The main reason why some persons argue that there are more activities that can be taken to tackle

crime

For instance

, the government should enforce all laws more strictly that can act as a deterrent for those who have the intention to commit crimes.

Moreover

, an amount of money should be spent on equipment that makes

easier

Correct pronoun usage

it easier

show examples

for police to deal with criminals.

However

, I agree with those who say that nothing can be done about

crime

. By

this

Add a comma

,this

show examples

I mean that the public feels hopeless because of the increasing

crime

every day.

This

is true because they see other people breaking laws all the time and negative news about

crime

is being shown on the Internet daily basis. To explain, economic degradation

Verb problem

has

show examples

getting

Replace the word

gotten

show examples

extremely worse after the Covid pandemic

due to

many dwellers lost their jobs

while

the percentage of inflation was rising yearly so they did not have enough money for their living led to many people do

crime

Additionally

, police are not honest in their duties because bribe is becoming popular

actions

Capitalize word

Actions

show examples

take place whenever a person makes mistakes and want to get away with that bad behaviour.

Accordingly

crime

spread wider and the government cannot handle it. In brief,

although

many people believe that more actions can be taken to tackle

crime

as a result

of stricter laws and improved equipment, I hold the view that little can be done because the rate of

crime

committed and police honesty cannot prevent many crimes.

Submitted by zky1705202 on Tue Sep 05 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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