IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think thay little can be done. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

#people #actions #crime #thay
A growing number of individuals assume that there are several ways to restrict
crime
 committed
whereas
 the remainder express concern that not much action can be taken. In my point of view, I agree with the latter statement. The main reason why some persons argue that there are more activities that can be taken to tackle
crime
.
For instance
, the government should enforce all laws more strictly that can act as a deterrent for those who have the intention to commit crimes.
Moreover
, an amount of money should be spent on equipment that makes
easier
Correct pronoun usage
it easier
show examples
 for police to deal with criminals.
However
, I agree with those who say that nothing can be done about
crime
. By
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 I mean that the public feels hopeless because of the increasing
crime
 every day.
This
 is true because they see other people breaking laws all the time and negative news about
crime
 is being shown on the Internet daily basis. To explain, economic degradation
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
getting
Replace the word
gotten
show examples
 extremely worse after the Covid pandemic
due to
 many dwellers lost their jobs
while
 the percentage of inflation was rising yearly so they did not have enough money for their living led to many people do
crime
.
Additionally
, police are not honest in their duties because bribe is becoming popular
actions
Capitalize word
Actions
show examples
 take place whenever a person makes mistakes and want to get away with that bad behaviour.
Accordingly
,
crime
 spread wider and the government cannot handle it. In brief,
although
 many people believe that more actions can be taken to tackle
crime
as a result
 of stricter laws and improved equipment, I hold the view that little can be done because the rate of
crime
 committed and police honesty cannot prevent many crimes.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: