IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #gym #methods
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The debate over whether it is better to go to a
gym
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 to stay in
shape
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 or do some effective methods has fierce adherents on each side.
Although
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 some people think that enrolling in a
gym
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 is the finest way to stay in
shape
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.
While
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 many individuals feel that there are lots of routes for them to do
instead
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 of those in the
gym
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, I predominantly agree with going to the fitness
center
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centre
show examples
 because there are more benefits
such
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 as more equipment in
this
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 place than the outside.
To begin
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, the main reason why some people think there are lots of methods to keep fit is because of the economy. By way of explanation, when someone goes to the
gym
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, they have to spend a large amount of money, so going to the
gym
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 will save a lot of money. In fact, a great number of scientists have discovered and shown that to lose weight or stay in
shape
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, eating is essential
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it accounts for 70% of the success rate. Some individuals can adjust their diet to suit their body condition so that they can control
the
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their
show examples
calories
Change the noun form
calorie
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 intake and
also
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 keep fit.
However
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, I agree with those who say it is better to go to the gymnasium
due to
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 the perfect infrastructure. Actually, the
gym
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 is a place with many exercise machines
such
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 as treadmills, weightlifting machines,
etc
Correct your spelling
etc.
, and some scientists have discovered and shown that doing exercises with suitable tools will have a profound impact on your body and health. Those fitness
centers
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centres
show examples
 will offer the perfect devices for you,
moreover
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, many of them nowadays can provide you with the ideal food during the period of losing weight.
As a result
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, it will be easier for you to keep fit and stay healthy because you don’t have to think about what you are going to eat or do. In conclusion, some people state that there are lots of methods to stay in
shape
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due to
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 saving money.
Nevertheless
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, it is my opinion that it is getting better to go to the
gym
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 because of the modern facilities.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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