Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

#scientists #technology #experts #society #musicians #artists

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Technology and science-related professionals are considered to be more valuable individuals in society than musicians and artists.I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

statement because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

science and technology are considered the main

focul

Correct your spelling

focal

focus

point of national development and there is a common belief among

people

Use synonyms

that those subjects are harder to learn and practice than aesthetic subjects. On the one hand, professionals who are involved in scientific and technological industries get more social recognition

due to

Linking Words

the importance of that sector to the

overall

Linking Words

national growth than from entertainment .The new products and services arising from those

fields

Use synonyms

help to improve every sector and

therefore

Linking Words

, the

people

Use synonyms

behind those innovations are more respected and valued than artists and musicians.

For instance

Linking Words

, the Sri Lankan scientists who were involved in introducing a new medicine to combat blood cancer were highly appreciated by the

people

Use synonyms

and got government-funded scholarships to study abroad.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

tend to consider scientific subjects and jobs as the hardest to study and perform than others and

therefore

Linking Words

, they pay respect and consideration to individuals who work in those

fields

Use synonyms

.They believe that it takes a lot of effort , time and resources to become experts in science and technology than in entertainment

fields

Use synonyms

.As an example, some scientists dedicate their entire lives to finding resolutions for serious environmental or medical problems which gives numerous benefits to mankind. In conclusion, in the modern world, the value of scientific and technological professionals is higher than musicians and artists.It is because, the scientific and technological

fields

Use synonyms

and their resolutions directly contribute to the development of any country and

people

Use synonyms

believe that, it is hard to come up with

such

Linking Words

resolutions.

Submitted by nir.paba6 on Wed Jan 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Make sure to address the task prompt directly and comprehensively. While the essay does present an agreement with the statement, it could further explore the nuances of the topic by possibly acknowledging counter-arguments or the value of musicians and artists in society.

coherence cohesion

Maintain clear transitions between paragraphs and ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next. While the essay has a logical structure and both an introduction and a conclusion, make sure that each main point is consistently supported with clear examples and expand the discussion to reflect a more complex understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

valued
modern society
scientists
technology experts
musicians
artists
reliance
scientific advancements
practical benefits
driving economic growth
daily lives
culture
human emotions
express ideas
provoke thought
spiritual well-being
emotional well-being
preserving cultural heritage
subjective nature
diversity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Many city centers these days have traffic flow problems, causing congestion and pollution. One solution is to build fast ring roads on the outskirts of a city, taking traffic away from the centre. While this is helpful in some ways, it also causes new problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people think that problem with traffic jams in the city centers should be solved by developing fast ring roads industry in the suburbs. This essay totally disagrees with this statement. Personally, I believe that ring roads are not only the main sourse of continuous noise and air pollution, in addition, it is a serious problem for the lifestyle of pedestrians and cyclists of that area.
6
band
More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised and at a younger age. This can sometimes put them at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet?
It is true that accessing the internet by young children who are not supervised can put them at risk as they can be exposed to inappropriate content. Furthermore, internet content is very addictive for children as they cannot control themselves. Therefore, sometimes parents need to deal with their children but they are in trouble when they are facing this issue. How can we solve these problems?
8
band
You would like a job working in the summer camp which runs sports and outdoor activities for children and young people. Write a letter to the organisers of the summer camp. In your letter: describe your personality say what relevant experience and skills you have explain what sort of work you would like to do.
I am writing this letter regarding a job that was published by your organization in the local newspaper . Yesterday , I came to know about this vacancy which really captivates me because I like outdoor physical activities.
5
band
Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Nowadays people in our society have several concerns about the practice of dangerous sports. While some particular individuals think that governments ought to ban those activities, others consider that anyone should be free to choose the sport that they most like, in spite of the risks. In my opinion, the latter statement is the most adequate in the modern world, since the liberty to practice any sport is a fundamental right to everyone, besides, a normal person knows the consequences.
7
band
Even though globalization affects, the world economy in a positive manner, it has a lot of negative as well. Do you agree or disagree?
Despite having advent globalization leads to an increment in the economy. Our society become modernised, and it creates some negative results on the world such as decreasing cultural values and competition in every sector. I would like to take the middle ground in this essay.

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised and at a younger age. This can sometimes put them at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet?

Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Even though globalization affects, the world economy in a positive manner, it has a lot of negative as well. Do you agree or disagree?