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Band 6.5

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

#scientists #technology #experts #society #musicians #artists
Technology and science-related professionals are considered to be more valuable individuals in society than musicians and artists.I totally agree with
this
 statement because
,
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 science and technology are considered the main
focul
Correct your spelling
focal
focus
 point of national development and there is a common belief among
people
 that those subjects are harder to learn and practice than aesthetic subjects. On the one hand, professionals who are involved in scientific and technological industries get more social recognition
due to
 the importance of that sector to the
overall
 national growth than from entertainment .The new products and services arising from those
fields
 help to improve every sector and
therefore
, the
people
 behind those innovations are more respected and valued than artists and musicians.
For instance
, the Sri Lankan scientists who were involved in introducing a new medicine to combat blood cancer were highly appreciated by the
people
 and got government-funded scholarships to study abroad.
On the other hand
, many
people
 tend to consider scientific subjects and jobs as the hardest to study and perform than others and
therefore
, they pay respect and consideration to individuals who work in those
fields
 .They believe that it takes a lot of effort , time and resources to become experts in science and technology than in entertainment
fields
.As an example, some scientists dedicate their entire lives to finding resolutions for serious environmental or medical problems which gives numerous benefits to mankind. In conclusion, in the modern world, the value of scientific and technological professionals is higher than musicians and artists.It is because, the scientific and technological
fields
 and their resolutions directly contribute to the development of any country and
people
 believe that, it is hard to come up with
such
 resolutions.
Submitted by nir.paba6 on

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task achievement
Make sure to address the task prompt directly and comprehensively. While the essay does present an agreement with the statement, it could further explore the nuances of the topic by possibly acknowledging counter-arguments or the value of musicians and artists in society.
coherence cohesion
Maintain clear transitions between paragraphs and ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next. While the essay has a logical structure and both an introduction and a conclusion, make sure that each main point is consistently supported with clear examples and expand the discussion to reflect a more complex understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • valued
  • modern society
  • scientists
  • technology experts
  • musicians
  • artists
  • reliance
  • scientific advancements
  • practical benefits
  • driving economic growth
  • daily lives
  • culture
  • human emotions
  • express ideas
  • provoke thought
  • spiritual well-being
  • emotional well-being
  • preserving cultural heritage
  • subjective nature
  • diversity
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