IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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There is no doubt that these days a lot of
species
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 of
animals
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 are almost extinct. The question is, What are the reasons for
this
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 phenomenon? In
this
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 essay, I am going to discuss the key factors that cause
such
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 phenomena.
In addition
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, I will mention some solutions to overcome it. In terms of problems, the reasons behind the extinction of some
species
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 of
animals
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 are many.
Firstly
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, the low availability of Laws that aggressively punished random hunting. The main reason for giving support to
this
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 claim is that the hunters who are interested in hunting and collecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unique animal
species
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 for commercial purposes do not respect the ecosystem and the natural habitat for those
animals
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instead
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 of leaving them living safely.
Secondly
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, I believe that the huge industrial revolution plays a role in
this
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in addition
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,
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 and factories release pollutants that affect negatively those
species
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 of
animals
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 making them couldn't adapt to
such
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 conditions. To illustrate, the accumulation of those pollutants will cause illness and death for those
species
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which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can't adapt themselves to these unclean environmental conditions. The opportunity to save the rest is still in our hands, As Previously mentioned the government should consider the places where those animal
species
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 live as nature preserves and prevent any person from hunting in
this
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 area,
Hence
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, the more respect for the environment the more preservation for
such
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 low availability animal
species
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 we can obtain. In Conclusion, the Lord gives us an award which is the animal
species
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, that depend on commensalism in their lives with humans,
That's
Unnecessary verb
That
show examples
 means both are important to each other so the protection of the animal
species
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 from extinct phenomena becomes a must for the environment stability.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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