The chart below shows male and female fitness membership in Thailand between 1985 and 2015

The chart below shows male and female fitness membership in Thailand between 1985 and 2015
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The chart below shows male and female fitness membership in Thailand between 1985 and 2015
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The bar chart illustrates the
number
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of males and females who took part in
fitness
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activities in Thailand during a 30-year period from 1985 to 2015.
Overall
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, there were many significant changes during the period.
While
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the
number
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of female
fitness
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members
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increased over time,
this
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number
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decreased for male
fitness
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members
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. It can be clearly observed from the chart that the
number
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of men who were
Thailand
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Thailand's
show examples
fitness
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members
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stood at over 2000, which was roughly twice as high as that of women in 1985. After five years, the figure for men witnessed a dramatic increase to approximately 4000 before gradually decreasing to under 2000 in 2000.
By contrast
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, there was a fluctuation between 1200 and nearly 3000 in the
number
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of women from 1985 to 2000. In the following five years, the
number
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of male
fitness
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memberships was the same as that of females, at over 2000.
Then
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,
while
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the male
fitness
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members
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number
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experienced a significant rise from under 2000 in 2000 to a peak of 5000 in 2010, the female
fitness
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members
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number
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steadily climbed to 3000. But
finally
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, in 2015, the
number
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of male and female
fitness
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members
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dropped again and reached 2000 for males and 1000 for females.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, fitness, members with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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