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Writing Samples
Band 6

The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#position #women #society #twenty #years #people #delinquency #fact #work #home #care #children
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Nowadays some group of people argue that many crime that occur in the young part of society is because of the changing married
women
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's role in the family. I completely agree with
this
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 and I believe that the working of married
women
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 is the main reason for the growing number of young people issues.
Firstly
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 and mostly, one of the reasons why I agree with
this
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 is the
time
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 that married
women
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 who
work
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 outside of the home devote themselves to caring for their
children
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.
Due to
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 the high amount of
work
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time
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 obviously, they do not have enough
time
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 to spend with their family members ,especially
children
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. Even if they want to engage with their
children
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's problems, because of the restrictions of
work
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, sadly they will not have enough
time
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. So
children
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 will suffer from the lack of mother's attention and be brought up in a bad way and show abnormal behaviour.
For example
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, in the absence of their mother, they consider someone else like their friends as a role model and imitate their
work
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.
Secondly
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, most of the
time
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 housewife mothers treat their
children
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 very calmly which causes them to live in a peaceful environment.
As a result
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, they have secure and better mental health and they will stay away from dangerous behaviour. In conclusion, I completely support
this
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 argument that the increase in violence and inexcusable behaviour of young persons is because of the absence of mothers and married
women
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 in homes.
Submitted by sajjad on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • evolution
  • domestic roles
  • diverse professional engagements
  • dual-working parents
  • family dynamics
  • juvenile delinquency
  • societal and economic factors
  • dual-income households
  • childcare methods
  • community support systems
  • gender roles
  • family responsibilities
  • professional aspirations
  • development needs
  • correlation
  • simplistic causation
  • workplace policies
  • flexible hours
  • parental leave
  • gender equality
  • role models
  • successful womanhood
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