It is important for people to take risks, bothh in teir professional lives and their personal lives. Do yo think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages
In our daily life , we generally need to do various hard tasks. Most of these are risky and time-consuming. We know that without consistency with work, we can not achieve success i.e. actually no pain, no gain. Some people think that it is very crucial to take challenges, both in their working lives and their personal lives. As Individuals are unable to get facilities without accepting risks, they think it has significant roles.
For
this
reason, I would say that the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages.
In the beginning, in our professional stage to get a good job or obtain a high rank in a sector, workers need to spend their valuable moments and need to be more patient. For instance
, Mark Zuckerberg is the founder of Facebook which is a very common and useful social media in the modern age. He left work only to produce the application system. In the meantime, he had to suffer from starvation, as he did not have much money. Though he had faced many admonishes, nowadays he has fame all over the world. Additionally
, he has now an abundance of money which is vital to making his life dynamic. Moreover
, making an excellent result in an exam is also
tough. If any student does not complete his lessons regularly, he can not cope with the other talented pupils. To do this
, he needs to study at least 8-10 hours a day. After practising in such
a way, he can cut a brilliant consequence.
On the other hand
, accepting targets in all cases is not suitable because it has some detrimental effects on our bodies and minds. Such
as a person who wants to live on the planet Mars, this
is not a proper idea to beat. As we know that it is not a possible task, we should ignore this
thought. Furthermore
,many job holders adulate their senior colleagues or boss to ascend the acme position rapidly. But unfortunately, it works in a reverse way and the service man left the job. It brings a miserable situation to his family and personality.
In conclusion, though there are both merits and demerits to welcoming challenges, the benefits can outweigh the disadvantages.Submitted by jonahid.stu20ju on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Spelling and Typos
Remember to proofread your essay for small typos and spelling mistakes, such as 'bothh' in the prompt sentence and 'left work' instead of 'left his work'. These adjustments can polish your essay further.
Grammar and Style
Try to vary your sentence structures more to demonstrate a wide range of grammatical constructions. While your essay is well-written, introducing more complex sentences can enhance its readability and engagement.
Argument Development
To make your arguments even stronger, consider contrasting your examples with a counterexample and then refuting it. This shows a deep level of analysis and critical thinking.
Example Use
Your essay does an excellent job of outlining the advantages of taking risks, using relevant examples like Mark Zuckerberg's story to illustrate your point. It's a great demonstration of supporting your arguments with concrete examples.
Structure and Organization
You've managed to maintain an organized essay structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes your essay easy to follow and strengthens your arguments.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and restates the important points, reinforcing the overall message of your essay. This is a key aspect of effective writing.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!