IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some believe that traffic problems in cities can best be resolved by investing in urban infrastructure while others feel there are superior solutions. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#believe #traffic #cities #infrastructure
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These days, the main matter that impacts the quality of life in the metropolises is
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion.
As a result
Linking Words
, a group of
people
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 think that it is important that authorities fund the
cities
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' facilities.
In contrast
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, the other ones believe that other ways have more effect. In my opinion, urban infrastructure is a really crucial item owing to the fact that it creates a chance to manage the
traffic
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 jam and aid
people
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 to have more accessibility. On the one hand, when the governments develop the
cities
Use synonyms
' facilities
such
Linking Words
 as public transportation, highways, wider roads, and so on,
then
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 the population can go to other places quickly without spending too much
time
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.To illustrate, in the big
cities
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 all around the world, public transit namely, buses, subway, and so forth have an essential role in reducing the rate of
traffic
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 congestion inasmuch as they create an opportunity for the inhabitants to go anywhere without wasting either
time
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 or money.
On the other hand
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, the other way that can decrease the number of
traffic
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 jams is working remotely
due to
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 the fact that if
people
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 move their office in their house, they do not need to go out in the rush hours to travel to work or come back from the office.
However
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, when urban infrastructure is not good,
people
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 in the other
time
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 like holidays, special times and so on, they spend a great deal of
time
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 on it.
To sum up
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, in my view, the facilities of large
cities
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 are more crucial than finding other methods on account of the fact that other than working
time
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 we can find some
time
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 that
people
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 go out and might generate
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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supporting examples
Further develop your viewpoints with examples or data for more impact.
logical clarity
Clarify your line of reasoning in the second body paragraph.
language use
The use of comparative structures helps in presenting balanced perspectives.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively present and sum up your views.
relevant content
The argument for remote working as a solution is relevant and well-placed in the essay structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban infrastructure
  • traffic congestion
  • bottlenecks
  • public transportation systems
  • cycling lanes
  • pedestrian pathways
  • telecommuting
  • smart traffic management
  • AI and IoT
  • carpooling
  • ride-sharing services
  • vehicular traffic
  • alternative means of transport
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