More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #foods

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An increasing number of people are to be

curcial

Correct your spelling

crucial

overweight. There are controversies

recommend

Wrong verb form

recommended

show examples

to solve

this

Linking Words

problem with the increasing of the price fatty food. In my view, I disagree because they can manage their

healty

Correct your spelling

healthy

eating pattern and do physical activity will help them to have

Change the article

show examples

ideal body. Fundamentally, They can prevent the body

with choose

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from choosing

show examples

nutrient-rich foods

such

Linking Words

as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Reduce intake of added sugars, saturated fats, and processed foods. Maintain balanced portions and avoid overeating. Subsequent to that, they have to do physical Activity. Engage in regular exercise, at least 150 minutes per week,

such

Linking Words

as walking, running, or swimming. Include strength training exercises to strengthen muscles and boost metabolism. Find activities you enjoy to make them a sustainable habit.

To sum up

Linking Words

, to solve the increasing number of overweight , there are 2 stages;

mantain

Correct your spelling

maintain

what they

consuption

Correct your spelling

consumption

and doing exercise.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Wed Sep 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear logical structure which could be improved by better paragraph organization and the use of cohesive devices.

coherence cohesion

Include an introduction and conclusion, but ensure that they clearly state your opinion and summarize the main points of discussion for improvement.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with more elaborated arguments or examples for better clarification.

task achievement

Provide a more complete response to the task by directly addressing the prompt and discussing why you disagree with the solution proposed.

task achievement

Work towards expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively by expanding on them and avoiding overly general statements.

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Use more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments, which will make your essay more persuasive and impactful.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

153 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
fattening foods
calorie-dense
healthier food choices
taxation
economic implications
social implications
subsidies
nutritional education
public health campaigns
nanny state
individual's right
consumer behavior
preventative measures

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More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Modern technology in now very common in most workplaces. How do you thik this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying to much on technology?