Discuss both views & give your opinion essay, Topic: Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#topic #people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

Correct your spelling

this

day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on whether

parents

or educational departments are in charge of nurturing teenagers' social well-being. In

this

essay, I will examine both views and explain why I lean towards the former. → intro ok nhé On the one hand, it is a common belief that school is an effective platform for fostering good citizenship.

Firstly

, teachers have been significant contributors to inspiring and developing

children

’s social skills.

For example

, organizing volunteer campaigns provides a clear example of how students can interact with peers from diverse backgrounds, fostering tolerance and understanding crucial for global citizenship.

Secondly

, educational institutes offer a unique environment which not only cultivates the adolescent’s soft skills but

also

a wide range of knowledge for future career opportunities including character development, ethics, and social responsibility to impart these values.

For instance

, competition clubs provide annual scholarships to enhance students’ knowledge and discipline skills.

On the other hand

, I do believe that

parents

as “primary educators’ are the most effective features

Change preposition

for

show examples

youngsters.

To begin

with, fathers and mothers play a crucial role in forming their

children

's character and values. From a young age, are the main caregivers and role models for offspring, providing a nurturing and loving environment.

For instance

, within the context of the family unit,

children

acquire foundational principles like empathy, respect, and responsibility through firsthand interaction and observation.

Moreover

, guardians can tailor lessons to offer personalized guidance and attention. To be specific, role models ' behaviours can influence their

children

's emotional intelligence, if

parents

experience a strained relationship, their attempts to make an impression can have unintended consequences. In conclusion,

although

some individuals think that schools are the best places to educate adolescents to be good contributors to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, I firmly believe that

parents

are the most important

guidance

Replace the word

guides

show examples

children

in all aspects of life.

Submitted by lekaity966 on Wed Sep 06 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay addresses all parts of the task, including discussing both views and providing your opinion. Make sure to cover all aspects of the topic and provide a clear stance.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates generally good coherence and cohesion. However, work on the use of linking words and transition phrases to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Discuss both views & give your opinion essay, Topic: Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

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