Some people believe that personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe that there are other factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #success #factors

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Some

people

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believe that personal

happiness

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depends on economic

success

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although

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others think that there are many other factors. Certainly, the economic factor can improve the quality and

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apply

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living conditions of

people

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, thereby making a

person

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happy, but with the help of

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money

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money,

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it is not possible to buy

happiness

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. I believe that

economics

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economic

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success

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does not directly affect on

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person

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person's

show examples

happiness

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Money

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improves a

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person s

Correct your spelling

person's

life

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apply

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because some

people

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do not have enough

money

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to live a favorable life or to support an entire family.

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Also

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Also,

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people

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who have enough

money

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, in a sense, make their life easier. Of

course

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course,

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it is clear that

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person

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who has

good

Correct article usage

a good

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income and economic

success

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cannot be completely happy, because real

happiness

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, in my opinion

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apply

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is a big family,

have

Wrong verb form

having

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a lot of

friends

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and good health

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apply

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parents. On the other side, I think that economic

success

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does not directly affect on

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person

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person's

show examples

happiness

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, because

happiness

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is not only

money

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or economic

success

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, it is a happy family that supports you, loyal

friends

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who will help you in any difficult situation and certainly, the love of your parents.

Also

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because

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apply

show examples

material goods can satisfy the needs of a

person

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and not make a

person

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happy.

For instance

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, if a

person

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has a lot of

money

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, but does not have

friends

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or family,

then

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he will be lonely and will not find real

happiness

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. In conclusion, I believe that personal

happiness

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is not directly related to economic

success

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, because there are many other factors

such

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as love, family, loyal

friends

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and spiritual values, which can influence

people

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’s

happiness

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Submitted by juliafromkazan2016 on Mon Nov 08 2021

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task response

Provide a stronger and clearer stance on the given topic. Address both views in depth and provide a balanced opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Organize the essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences and supporting details. Ensure that there is a clear introduction and a conclusion summarizing the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Some people believe that personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe that there are other factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to live in one town or city all your life than to move from one place to another. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local people when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to a friend about an item you borrowed last week, that accidentally got damaged. In your letter – Describe the item. – What was the damage? – What do you intend to do to rectify the problem?

Organised tours to remote communities and other countries are increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for local people and the local environment? To what extent do you agree or disagree?