In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In the contemporary age, children’s education lies at the heart of mainstream issues, some tell their youngsters that if they work hard enough, they can achieve any dreams,
while
others advocate
this
approach results in unrealistic faith for the next generation. I firmly stand for the view that
this
method has both positive and negative effects on our young associates. Admittedly, it is not true that full dedication can always lead to achievement since in spite of hard work, luck, original resources, and hard-wired quality both play an important role in personal accomplishments. Possessing
such
faith, individuals would only consider the factor of engagement
instead
of acknowledging other significant influences. Eventually, if they obtained success, they would become an elitist and fail to understand others’ struggles, and if they did not gain the triumph, they would see themselves as a failure.
However
,
such
encouragement motivates kids to dedicate themselves to their dreams as youngsters tend to believe what they have been told as well and they always possess wonderful dreams, like becoming a doctor, leading a giant enterprise or engaging in world-changing innovations.
Furthermore
, it
also
enables students to focus on real-life tasks, since nowadays the advancement of virtual gaming and social applications causes notable distractions on individuals’ attention.
Such
problems can be solved by fostering children to achieve their aims in physical reality. To recapitulate, persuading young kids to achieve their ambitions through hard work is essentially a positive approach, yet there are always substantial examples that do not agree with
this
belief. Only when we view
this
trust appropriately and judiciously can we achieve the shared ambition of building a fairer and friendly society for the next generation.
Submitted by norra_gsy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: