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Band 7

In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#countries #children #message
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In the contemporary age, children’s education lies at the heart of mainstream issues, some tell their youngsters that if they work hard enough, they can achieve any dreams,
while
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 others advocate
this
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 approach results in unrealistic faith for the next generation. I firmly stand for the view that
this
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 method has both positive and negative effects on our young associates. Admittedly, it is not true that full dedication can always lead to achievement since in spite of hard work, luck, original resources, and hard-wired quality both play an important role in personal accomplishments. Possessing
such
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 faith, individuals would only consider the factor of engagement
instead
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 of acknowledging other significant influences. Eventually, if they obtained success, they would become an elitist and fail to understand others’ struggles, and if they did not gain the triumph, they would see themselves as a failure.
However
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,
such
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 encouragement motivates kids to dedicate themselves to their dreams as youngsters tend to believe what they have been told as well and they always possess wonderful dreams, like becoming a doctor, leading a giant enterprise or engaging in world-changing innovations.
Furthermore
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, it
also
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 enables students to focus on real-life tasks, since nowadays the advancement of virtual gaming and social applications causes notable distractions on individuals’ attention.
Such
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 problems can be solved by fostering children to achieve their aims in physical reality. To recapitulate, persuading young kids to achieve their ambitions through hard work is essentially a positive approach, yet there are always substantial examples that do not agree with
this
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 belief. Only when we view
this
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 trust appropriately and judiciously can we achieve the shared ambition of building a fairer and friendly society for the next generation.
Submitted by norra_gsy on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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