There is a lot of pressure and stress in many people's lives. What are the causes of this problem? What could be done to reduce it?
For decades, the quantity of stress has been increased among folks. There has been a sharp increase in the ratio of adults who suffer from
this
illness;however
, it should be solved as soon as possible. In this
essay, I will look at the reasons for this
and propose some solutions.
Firstly
, some nations grasp that this
disease is caught by many swarms since the life expenditure has shot recently. Besides
, breadwinners are forced to work overtime to make ends meet. For example
, a father of an extended family has to work in two diverse occupations with a view to living from hand to mouth and thus
, the person has gotten
stressed. To tackle Wrong verb form
becomes
this
problem, the power has to implement schemes such
as donating an array of money to families with average salaries each month so the impoverished society rarely become
wretched with monetary problems and their stress levels would decrease.
Change the verb form
becomes
Secondly
, some feel that this
illness has spread between folks because of traffic pollution. In addition
, most of the workers stick on roads every day since there is bumper-and-bumper traffic as well as
road rage. A solution is for the government to block heavy vehicles along with
cars from entering the city centre in the rush hour when many commute to this
vicinity; for instance
, this
successful plan has been presented in Tehran; a metropolitan city in Iran for several years and as a result
, citizens not only give a helping hand to alleviate air pollution but also
arrive on time for their meetings by utilizing public transportation systems.
In conclusion, there are a variety of reasons for explaining severe pressure on humankind;nonetheless
, they are not insurmountable if appropriate measures are taken by both the authorities and inhabitants by way of using novel approaches.Submitted by mehrdad.salahi2003 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
The essay addresses the causes of stress and proposes solutions, but the arguments lack clarity and coherence. More specific examples and a clear introduction and conclusion are needed.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat maintained, but the essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are somewhat supported, but there is room for improvement in coherence and cohesion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!