There is a lot of pressure and stress in many people's lives. What are the causes of this problem? What could be done to reduce it?

For decades, the quantity of stress has been increased among folks. There has been a sharp increase in the ratio of adults who suffer from
this
illness;
however
, it should be solved as soon as possible. In
this
essay, I will look at the reasons for
this
and propose some solutions.
Firstly
, some nations grasp that
this
disease is caught by many swarms since the life expenditure has shot recently.
Besides
, breadwinners are forced to work overtime to make ends meet.
For example
, a father of an extended family has to work in two diverse occupations with a view to living from hand to mouth and
thus
, the person
has gotten
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
stressed. To tackle
this
problem, the power has to implement schemes
such
as donating an array of money to families with average salaries each month so the impoverished society rarely
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
wretched with monetary problems and their stress levels would decrease.
Secondly
, some feel that
this
illness has spread between folks because of traffic pollution.
In addition
, most of the workers stick on roads every day since there is bumper-and-bumper traffic
as well as
road rage. A solution is for the government to block heavy vehicles
along with
cars from entering the city centre in the rush hour when many commute to
this
vicinity;
for instance
,
this
successful plan has been presented in Tehran; a metropolitan city in Iran for several years and
as a result
, citizens not only give a helping hand to alleviate air pollution but
also
arrive on time for their meetings by utilizing public transportation systems. In conclusion, there are a variety of reasons for explaining severe pressure on humankind;
nonetheless
, they are not insurmountable if appropriate measures are taken by both the authorities and inhabitants by way of using novel approaches.
Submitted by mehrdad.salahi2003 on

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task response
The essay addresses the causes of stress and proposes solutions, but the arguments lack clarity and coherence. More specific examples and a clear introduction and conclusion are needed.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat maintained, but the essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are somewhat supported, but there is room for improvement in coherence and cohesion.

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