Many teenagers now have their own smart phone. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion.

#teenagers #phone

Some would argue that all

teenagers

should not have their own

smartphones

, and

this

is not good for kids,

while

others would say that a

smartphone

can provide some benefits.

While

smartphones

can destroy

teenagers

health

, I believe that they result in

teenagers

exercising and becoming overweight. The main disadvantage of having a

smartphone

is being physically weak.

Also

, it has a lot of opportunities for other websites, which can be really harmful to his mental

health

Teenagers

play video games the whole day and spend their day just for free.

Moreover

, he does not know as well that he destroyed his vision.

For example

, scientists approved that in the 19th century, in one class there were a maximum of 2 students with glasses.

However

, now in one class, we have at least six students with eye problems. Having a

smartphone

will increase technological development. Nowadays we have a lot of

teenagers

who work for big companies like Tesla. It is obvious that they started using a

smartphone

or other device when they were young.

Also

nowadays, there are a lot of opportunities to fix problems with the eye or body, respectively. But the most common reason why all

teenagers

should have

smartphones

is childhood trauma. If one teenager has a

smartphone

, it is obvious that his friends or besties want to have a

smartphone

, analogically. And if his parents can not afford to buy him a

smartphone

, a teenager or kid will get a childhood trauma.

For example

, I was the only person in my class who did not have a

smartphone

. I cried every single day to my parents to get a

smartphone

While

my classmates played video games on their

smartphones

. In conclusion,

although

smartphone

can destroy the mental

health

or body

health

teenagers

, the lack of a

smartphone

can be a reason for suicide.

Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on Wed Aug 14 2024

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task achievement

Make sure your main points directly address the topic and are supported by clear and relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

Improve the sequence and clarity of the ideas presented in the paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.

coherence cohesion

Try to enhance your vocabulary and use more varied sentence structures to better articulate your points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion well.

task achievement

You provided some examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

task achievement

You showed an awareness of different perspectives on the topic, which adds depth to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

310 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

communication
access to information
safety and security
entertainment
educational opportunities
addiction
excessive screen time
cyberbullying
online harassment
distraction
lack of focus
privacy concerns
social disconnection
advantages
disadvantages
opinion
outweigh
limits
screen time
online safety

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Many teenagers now have their own smart phone. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People living in large cites today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?

Some think that resident should be responsible for keeping their areas clean and tidy, while others says it is the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage students . Do you think its advantages outweigh its disadvantages?