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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the total
number
Use synonyms
 of trips to and from
school
Use synonyms
 using five different modes of transport which were taken by
children
Use synonyms
 in one country in 1990 and 2010. The five different modes of transport were
car
Use synonyms
 passenger, walking, cycling, walking and
bus
Use synonyms
, and
bus
Use synonyms
. In 1990, most of the
children
Use synonyms
 walked to and from
school
Use synonyms
. There were more than 12
million
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
 who traveled to and from
school
Use synonyms
 by walking
while
Linking Words
 about 7
million
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
 traveled by
bus
Use synonyms
. The total
number
Use synonyms
 of
car
Use synonyms
 passengers, cycling, walking and
bus
Use synonyms
 were 4.5
million
Use synonyms
, 6.1
million
Use synonyms
 and 5.9
million
Use synonyms
 respectively. In 2010, it is worth noticing that
children
Use synonyms
 who
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 to and from
school
Use synonyms
 by being
car
Use synonyms
 passengers became the largest proportion at 11
million
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 who walked to
school
Use synonyms
 dropped to 6
million
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 who rode bicycles, walked and took the
bus
Use synonyms
, and merely took the
bus
Use synonyms
 all decreased considerably to 2
million
Use synonyms
, 3
million
Use synonyms
, and 5
million
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
, all modes of transport showed a downward trend between 1990 and 2010, except for
children
Use synonyms
 who
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 to and from
school
Use synonyms
 by being
car
Use synonyms
 passengers
meet
Wrong verb form
met
show examples
 a twofold increase.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, school, children, car, bus, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trips
  • children
  • modes of transport
  • walk
  • cycle
  • public transport
  • drive
  • car
  • trends
  • decrease
  • increase
  • shift
  • convenient
  • comfortable
  • commuting
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • significant
  • indicate
  • reasons
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • 20-year period
  • doubled
  • considerable margin
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