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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops opening in a country from 2011 to 2018.

The chart shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops opening in a country from 2011 to 2018.
The graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shops
Use synonyms
 that it had closed down and opened from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, it had a downward trend in the
number
Use synonyms
 of closed and open
stores
Use synonyms
. As can be seen in the graph given,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 in 2011, the proportion of opened
shops
Use synonyms
 was very high about 8,500
shops
Use synonyms
. In the next year, there was a significant decrease in 4,000
shops
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
from 2012 to 2014,
this
Linking Words
 quantity had increased again and
this
Linking Words
 was an upward trend with 4,000
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2011 to 6,100
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2014. After that, it tended to decline again from 6,100
stores
Use synonyms
 in 2014 to 4,000
stores
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
This
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 was steady in 2016 and
then
Linking Words
, it had a mild rise at 4,100 outlets in 2017.
Finally
Linking Words
, it continued to decrease in 2018 by about 3,000
shops
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of closed
shops
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 had a fluctuation.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it had a slight drop from 6,300
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2011 to 6,000
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2012.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, from 2012 to 2014, it did not have a stable. It had increased in 2013 to about 7,100
stores
Use synonyms
 but in the next year, it’s just about 6,500
shops
Use synonyms
. In 2015, it had a significant fall from 6,500
shops
Use synonyms
 to 500
shops
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 it had a quick increase immediately about 5,100 outlets in 2016. Between 2016 and 2018, it stayed constant and did not have many changes.

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops, stores with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
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