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Band 2.5

many people feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #gym #methods
At
this
 time,
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 fit is an important thing
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 everyone,
according
Capitalize word
According
show examples
 to the figure of the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
, the number of
people
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to the
gym
increases
Wrong verb form
has increased
show examples
 sharply,
during
Change preposition
while
show examples
 others choose other
methods
.
This
 essay
argue
Change the verb form
argues
show examples
 with more effective
methods
.
Firstly
, more
people
 choose to stay fit by more
methods
 like yoga,
pilate
Correct your spelling
pilates
show examples
, exercise and so on. To be honest, that brings more benefits
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
,
people
 do not need to spend more time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 that, like
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
,
people
 have to go
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 to get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high result, but with others,
people
 just need about
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
 or third a week. With
gym
Add an article
a gym
the gym
show examples
, it is
also
 a great idea,
people
 can go
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
 cost,
instead
 of spending more money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
pilate
Fix the agreement mistake
pilates
show examples
,
yoga
Correct word choice
and yoga
show examples
 .In that, you can meet and make more friends, some
people
also
 find
lover
Fix the agreement mistake
lovers
show examples
, some funny things. More
people
also
 see that
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 a place to relax after working or studying.
Besides
, all things bring
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 and negative side,
gym
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 more positive for
people
 like children difficult to improve high,
it'
Complete the contraction
it's
show examples
 so hard to stop going to the
gym
 and so on. That’s a reason why
people
 choose other
methods
,
instead
 of
gym
Add an article
the gym
a gym
show examples
This
gym
 or other
methods
 is
also
 great, by
people
 should choose the best way to make effect to work or study
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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