IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the different types of accommodations chosen by the British when they were on holidays in 2013.

The chart below shows the different types of accommodations chosen by the British when they were on holidays in 2013.
The bar chart illustrates the number of
British
Use synonyms
 people who have chosen accommodations on their holidays in 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
,most of the tourists were chosen for the hotel than other types of accommodations in
England
Use synonyms
. In the comparison between
England
Use synonyms
 and Scotland, A huge number of
British
Use synonyms
 people chose hotels in
England
Use synonyms
 about 55% followed by Scotland nearly 50%. Self-catering has increased slightly to 30% in Scotland,
also
Linking Words
 in
England
Use synonyms
 had around 25%.
However
Linking Words
, caravan and camping had only under the percentage of 15% in both countries. Turning to the remaining two countries, many
British
Use synonyms
 people were choosing hotels in Wales and Northern Ireland around more than 40%. Wales was a higher place than Ireland in Self-catering at 28%. Caravan occupied the highest amount of
British
Use synonyms
 persons at 30% in Northern Ireland.
Moreover
Linking Words
, camping rank was similar in both the countries under 20%. All of the accommodations were having a lot of fluctuations in 2013.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words british, england with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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