Some young people go to college or university to have a successful career path. Others, however, choose to go straight to work to gain real life experience after high school. Discuss both views and write your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Owing to a quality of
life
, many people tend to have revenue sources. It is believed that tertiary
education
brings about lucrative careers,
while
others argue that after secondary
education
it is better to have a job in order to garner
life
experience. In my opinion, a
university
education
may widen many doors.
However
,
life
experience from working in industry cannot be neglected. There are significant advantages of having tertiary
education
, namely white-collar
jobs
and knowledge.
Firstly
, it can be said that a
university
education
bestows quality
education
that can influence lucrative
jobs
such
as management positions, engineers, and doctors.
Secondly
, universities provide a colossal amount of knowledge about varied kinds of sectors to their students.
Furthermore
, after graduation, students will have competitive knowledge.
For instance
, recent research, which was held by the Ministry of Social Affairs reveals that 78% of white-collar
jobs
were granted to individuals who obtained
university
degrees.
Hence
,
it is clear that
after graduation, the youngest can have better
jobs
.
On the other hand
, there are some merits to obtaining a
career
after high school
education
. It can be said that by engaging with the
career
industry young generation can gain many
life
experiences
such
as managing their money and time and interacting with others.
This
experience ultimately influences their lives.
Moreover
, if an individual engages in a working environment it will ameliorate their skills.
For example
, a study shows that 67% of people who are engaging in a
career
without a
university
degree have a better personality than those who have a degree.
Therefore
, there are some benefits of opting for work without going to
university
. In conclusion, some would argue that after
university
education
can have a better job,
while
others argue that after secondary
education
children can gain
life
experiences from
career
pathways. I believe that a
university
education
may broaden many opportunities. It is recommended that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governmental intervention in the
education
sector is a need of the day and the state should cater to job opportunities to mitigate the unemployment rate.
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task response
The essay adequately addresses the given topic, presenting both views and providing a clear opinion. The arguments are relevant and well-supported with examples.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally sound, but improvements can be made in the introduction and conclusion. Cohesive devices could be used more effectively to improve the flow of ideas and transitions between paragraphs.
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