At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer text Nowadays, in some countries, the population of younger
adults
are more
Verb problem
is
show examples
higher than elderly
people
. I agree with the above notion and
this
essay will discuss how
this
trend benefits
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and
surpass
Correct subject-verb agreement
surpasses
show examples
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
downside.
To begin
with, young ones are the epitome of the new future and new hope. Younger as they are, they are more active and resilient to changes.
Hence
, with the new technological advances that we have, younger ones are more
equip
Change the form of the verb
equipped
show examples
to do things in
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
convenient and efficient way.
For instance
, younger
adults
are more productive at
work
since they are more career-oriented and
focus
Replace the word
focused
show examples
goal persons. They can
work
longer hours too and spare time with friends at night if they can.
That is
why there are
adults
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
their early age of 20s or 30s
already
Correct pronoun usage
who already
show examples
achieved their goals
to have
Change preposition
of having
show examples
their own house or own car with their own determination and
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
.
On the other hand
, there are still elderly
people
striving hard to
work
for years. These elderly
people
have enough
work
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
to become successful in their respective careers. They are
well respected
Add a hyphen
well-respected
show examples
and well-rounded individuals.
Thus
, young
adults
and elderly
people
tend to compete with each other at
work
.
For example
, young ones are more computer-literate and fast, so better and more job offers are open to them
while
elderly
people
has
Verb problem
are
show examples
given lesser and
easy
Replace the word
easier
show examples
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
.
To sum up
, both young
adults
and older
people
should and can benefit from each other in order to achieve a common goal. It is a synergistic effect that
people
should learn how to communicate
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
each other to help one another.
Their
Replace the word
There
show examples
is no doubt that every age group is essential to build a better nation.
Submitted by jtumacole10 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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