At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

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Answer text Nowadays, in some countries, the population of younger

adults

Use synonyms

are more

Verb problem

show examples

higher than elderly

people

Use synonyms

. I agree with the above notion and

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss how

this

Linking Words

trend benefits

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society and

surpass

Correct subject-verb agreement

surpasses

show examples

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

downside.

To begin

Linking Words

with, young ones are the epitome of the new future and new hope. Younger as they are, they are more active and resilient to changes.

Hence

Linking Words

, with the new technological advances that we have, younger ones are more

equip

Change the form of the verb

equipped

show examples

to do things in

Add an article

a more

show examples

convenient and efficient way.

For instance

Linking Words

, younger

adults

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are more productive at

work

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since they are more career-oriented and

focus

Replace the word

focused

show examples

goal persons. They can

work

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longer hours too and spare time with friends at night if they can.

That is

Linking Words

why there are

adults

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Change preposition

show examples

their early age of 20s or 30s

already

Correct pronoun usage

who already

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achieved their goals

to have

Change preposition

of having

show examples

their own house or own car with their own determination and

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are still elderly

people

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striving hard to

work

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for years. These elderly

people

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have enough

work

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experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

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to become successful in their respective careers. They are

well respected

Add a hyphen

well-respected

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and well-rounded individuals.

Thus

Linking Words

, young

adults

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and elderly

people

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tend to compete with each other at

work

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For example

Linking Words

, young ones are more computer-literate and fast, so better and more job offers are open to them

while

Linking Words

elderly

people

Use synonyms

has

Verb problem

are

show examples

given lesser and

easy

Replace the word

easier

show examples

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

To sum up

Linking Words

, both young

adults

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and older

people

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should and can benefit from each other in order to achieve a common goal. It is a synergistic effect that

people

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should learn how to communicate

Change preposition

with

show examples

each other to help one another.

Their

Replace the word

There

show examples

is no doubt that every age group is essential to build a better nation.

Submitted by jtumacole10 on Fri Sep 08 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills. Do you agree or disagree?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

in spite of advancements made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.