Some people argue that because the Internet makes it so easy for children to access facts, schools should not focus on teaching facts. Instead, they should focus on developing children’s skills and potential, and their relationships with other people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
The
school
system today will have had to face some changes, and one of these changes is being debated by many – the Internet
is very popular among children
and gives them the opportunity to learn facts
without lessons in school
- should children
learn mostly practical skills
in school
or not. I completely disagree with this
statement; the Internet
cannot be a substitute for a teacher.
Let us consider the option, if school
students
will learn theory only via the Internet
. This
is silly because apart from difficulty
of understanding the Add an article
the difficulty
facts
, children
and teenagers will encounter diverse websites with information, and the probability that they will study completely different things is high. That kind of trouble can create complexities for educators in teaching pupil
the Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
skills
to use knowledges
that was gotten via the Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
Internet
. Furthermore
, in my view, the biggest part of school
students
is
not ready Correct subject-verb agreement
are
for studying
the information by themselves only, Change preposition
to study
the
have Correct your spelling
they
the
lack of discipline, Correct article usage
a
that is
why teachers should control the pupils’ education.
Many people think that learning facts
via Internet
can give an opportunity to Add an article
the Internet
school
students
concentrate
mostly on their private lives and earn useful practice Fix the infinitive
to concentrate
skills
, and it would be more beneficial than offline studying facts
. I do not agree with it, because pupils can learn soft skills
even if they study subject
material Correct article usage
the subject
at
the lessons. Change preposition
in
For example
, on
Change preposition
in
the
literature Correct article usage
apply
lessons
Add a comma
lessons,
children
and teenagers can learn not only academic facts
like writing styles or types of poetry,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
a good life lesson from a book or get inspired in some profession. Therefore
, the statement that if pupils study facts
online, they will earn more skills
and their potential can open better is false, actually this
can happen without switching to online self-study.
To summarize everything below, modern school
have no need Fix the agreement mistake
schools
in changing
that way. Change preposition
to change
School
students
have enough opportunities to learn each type of skills
.Fix the agreement mistake
skill
Submitted by eerkare on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay does not adhere to a clear and logical structure throughout. Ideas are presented but not always in a coherent way that builds a convincingly argued case. Use linking words effectively and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more effectively used to set up and summarise the argument, respectively. Ensure they clearly state the writer's position and summarise the main points.
coherence cohesion
While the essay contains some supporting points, these are at times vague and could be further developed with specific examples and a clearer explanation of how they support the main point.
task achievement
The response is generally relevant to the prompt, but there is room to develop a more complete response. Make sure to address the prompt fully and explore the implications of the argument.
task achievement
The ideas presented need to be clearer and more comprehensive. Consider starting each paragraph with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting information.
task achievement
The essay lacks relevant and specific examples to support the arguments. The use of concrete examples is crucial in illustrating your points and strengthening your argument. Make sure to include them where appropriate.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite