Some people argue that because the Internet makes it so easy for children to access facts, schools should not focus on teaching facts. Instead, they should focus on developing children’s skills and potential, and their relationships with other people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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The
school
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system today will have had to face some changes, and one of these changes is being debated by many – the
Internet
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is very popular among
children
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and gives them the opportunity to learn
facts
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without lessons in
school
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- should
children
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learn mostly practical
skills
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in
school
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or not. I completely disagree with
this
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statement; the
Internet
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cannot be a substitute for a teacher. Let us consider the option, if
school
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students
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will learn theory only via the
Internet
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.
This
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is silly because apart from
difficulty
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the difficulty
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of understanding the
facts
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,
children
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and teenagers will encounter diverse websites with information, and the probability that they will study completely different things is high. That kind of trouble can create complexities for educators in teaching
pupil
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pupils
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the
skills
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to use
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
that was gotten via the
Internet
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.
Furthermore
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, in my view, the biggest part of
school
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students
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is
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are
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not ready
for studying
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to study
show examples
the information by themselves only,
the
Correct your spelling
they
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have
the
Correct article usage
a
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lack of discipline,
that is
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why teachers should control the pupils’ education. Many people think that learning
facts
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via
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Internet
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the Internet
show examples
can give an opportunity to
school
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students
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concentrate
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to concentrate
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mostly on their private lives and earn useful practice
skills
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, and it would be more beneficial than offline studying
facts
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. I do not agree with it, because pupils can learn soft
skills
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even if they study
subject
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the subject
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material
at
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in
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the lessons.
For example
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,
on
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in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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literature
lessons
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lessons,
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children
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and teenagers can learn not only academic
facts
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like writing styles or types of poetry
,
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apply
show examples
but
also
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a good life lesson from a book or get inspired in some profession.
Therefore
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, the statement that if pupils study
facts
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online, they will earn more
skills
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and their potential can open better is false, actually
this
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can happen without switching to online self-study. To summarize everything below, modern
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school
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schools
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have no need
in changing
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to change
show examples
that way.
School
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students
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have enough opportunities to learn each type of
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skills
Fix the agreement mistake
skill
show examples
.
Submitted by eerkare on

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coherence cohesion
The essay does not adhere to a clear and logical structure throughout. Ideas are presented but not always in a coherent way that builds a convincingly argued case. Use linking words effectively and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more effectively used to set up and summarise the argument, respectively. Ensure they clearly state the writer's position and summarise the main points.
coherence cohesion
While the essay contains some supporting points, these are at times vague and could be further developed with specific examples and a clearer explanation of how they support the main point.
task achievement
The response is generally relevant to the prompt, but there is room to develop a more complete response. Make sure to address the prompt fully and explore the implications of the argument.
task achievement
The ideas presented need to be clearer and more comprehensive. Consider starting each paragraph with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting information.
task achievement
The essay lacks relevant and specific examples to support the arguments. The use of concrete examples is crucial in illustrating your points and strengthening your argument. Make sure to include them where appropriate.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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