IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#tables #information #temperatures #hours #daylight #london #sydney #weekend #december #summarise #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 report derives from the tables which illustrate the weather conditions and time of daylight in two cities, which are
London
Use synonyms
 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
, in the same weekend that chosen from December 2018. A good starting point would be to say that
Sydney
Use synonyms
 was
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
hotter than
London
Use synonyms
 over the period shown, and people who lived in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 could
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
profit
Correct article usage
a profit
show examples
 from
Use synonyms
sun
Add an article
the sun
show examples
 much better than Londoners. The first result worth pointing out is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
sun
Add an article
the sun
show examples
 rose before
than
Change preposition
in
show examples
London
Use synonyms
, at 05:45, whilst,
Use synonyms
sun
Add an article
the sun
show examples
 could be seen for nearly 15
hours
Use synonyms
 in
Sydney
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Friday
28th
Correct article usage
the 28th
show examples
 which was the coldest
day
Use synonyms
 for
Sydney
Use synonyms
 with
maximum
Correct article usage
a maximum
show examples
26
Change preposition
of 26
show examples
C
Use synonyms
, and
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
show examples
17
Change preposition
of 17
show examples
C
Use synonyms
 over the three days.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the same
day
Use synonyms
,
London
Use synonyms
 lived the coldest
day
Use synonyms
 too, with
maximum
Correct article usage
a maximum
show examples
9
Change preposition
of 9
show examples
C
Use synonyms
, and
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
show examples
4
Change preposition
of 4
show examples
C
Use synonyms
 compared to the days shown.
However
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
on this
show examples
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
 sunrise time was 08:05 in
London
Use synonyms
, and
sun
Use synonyms
 could be seen for approimately 8
hours
Use synonyms
. Another information that can be observed is that, the hottest
day
Use synonyms
 for
Sydney
Use synonyms
 was sunday (like its name) 30th with maximum 31
C
Use synonyms
, and minimum 19
C
Use synonyms
conversely
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
day
Use synonyms
 was not the hottest
day
Use synonyms
 for
London
Use synonyms
; Londeners could lived with hotter sunlight at Saturday 29th with maximum 13
C
Use synonyms
, and minimum 3
C
Use synonyms
. It can be
also
Linking Words
 clearly seen from the tables, the amount of time that can be seen
sun
Use synonyms
 is nearly 8
hours
Use synonyms
 for
London
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the
sun
Use synonyms
 can be seen for approximately in 15
hours
Use synonyms
 in
Sydney
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by barisberkay97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words london, sydney, sun, hours, day, c with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • temperatures
  • hours of daylight
  • comparison
  • London
  • Sydney
  • December 2018
  • weekend
  • information
  • data
  • summarise
  • select
  • report
  • features
  • analysis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: