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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#tables #information #temperatures #hours #daylight #london #sydney #weekend #december #summarise #features #comparisons
This
 report derives from the tables which illustrate the weather conditions and time of daylight in two cities, which are
London
 and
Sydney
, in the same weekend that chosen from December 2018. A good starting point would be to say that
Sydney
 was
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
hotter than
London
 over the period shown, and people who lived in
Sydney
 could
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
profit
Correct article usage
a profit
show examples
 from
sun
Add an article
the sun
show examples
 much better than Londoners. The first result worth pointing out is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
sun
Add an article
the sun
show examples
 rose before
than
Change preposition
in
show examples
London
, at 05:45, whilst,
sun
Add an article
the sun
show examples
 could be seen for nearly 15
hours
 in
Sydney
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Friday
28th
Correct article usage
the 28th
show examples
 which was the coldest
day
 for
Sydney
 with
maximum
Correct article usage
a maximum
show examples
26
Change preposition
of 26
show examples
C
, and
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
show examples
17
Change preposition
of 17
show examples
C
 over the three days.
On the other hand
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the same
day
,
London
 lived the coldest
day
 too, with
maximum
Correct article usage
a maximum
show examples
9
Change preposition
of 9
show examples
C
, and
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
show examples
4
Change preposition
of 4
show examples
C
 compared to the days shown.
However
,
this
Change preposition
on this
show examples
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
 sunrise time was 08:05 in
London
, and
sun
 could be seen for approimately 8
hours
. Another information that can be observed is that, the hottest
day
 for
Sydney
 was sunday (like its name) 30th with maximum 31
C
, and minimum 19
C
conversely
this
day
 was not the hottest
day
 for
London
; Londeners could lived with hotter sunlight at Saturday 29th with maximum 13
C
, and minimum 3
C
. It can be
also
 clearly seen from the tables, the amount of time that can be seen
sun
 is nearly 8
hours
 for
London
while
 the
sun
 can be seen for approximately in 15
hours
 in
Sydney
.
Submitted by barisberkay97 on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words london, sydney, sun, hours, day, c with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • temperatures
  • hours of daylight
  • comparison
  • London
  • Sydney
  • December 2018
  • weekend
  • information
  • data
  • summarise
  • select
  • report
  • features
  • analysis
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