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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The bar chart
provided
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Use synonyms
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
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on
Change preposition
for
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 six
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
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 in four countries in
European
Correct your spelling
Europe
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, Photographic
film
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 and
Toys
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 provided the highest
amount
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 of expenditure.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Tennis
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racquets
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 and personal
stereos
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 showed the lowest
number
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 of spent. The
amount
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 of Britain's
expense
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 was led almost in all
consumer
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goods
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categories
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. The four
categories
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 consist of photographic
film
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,
toys
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,
CDs
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 and perfumes
provided
Wrong verb form
providing
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 the highest
number
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 at above 160.
Besides
Linking Words
,
tennis
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racquets
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 and personal
stereos
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 followed in the same
number
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 was 155. Compared with the
expense
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 of French
consumer
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goods
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, the highest
amount
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 of the three
categories
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 was photographic
film
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,
toys
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, and
CDs
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 were above 155.
Linking Words
on
Capitalize word
On
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 the contrary, the other
categories
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 showed an
amount
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 below 150.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of Italy
consumer
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goods
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 was
toys
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 at around 157. It was followed by
tennis
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racquets
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 and perfumes at 155.
CDs
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 and personal
stereos
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expense
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 showed
amount
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 at 150.
However
Linking Words
, the
amount
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 of Germany's
consumer
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goods
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 was the lowest
number
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 compared with 3 other European countries. The
categories
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 of photographic
film
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, perfumes and
tennis
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racquets
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 provided
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same
amount
Use synonyms
 around 150. The three other
categories
Use synonyms
 consist of personal
stereos
Use synonyms
,
toys
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 and
CDs
Use synonyms
 showed a
number
Use synonyms
 below 147

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, expense, consumer, goods, film, toys, amount, tennis, racquets, stereos, categories, cds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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