IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Taking professional and personal risks is quite necessary for many individuals. I firmly believe that the profits of being risky such as success and an interesting life outweigh any drawbacks.

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On the one side,
it is clear that
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 taking
risks
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 is dangerous.
Firstly
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, the main disadvantage is
a
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the
show examples
 danger of dispersing a
person
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's efforts. People can find themselves to be not satisfied with their job and they change it in order to find something better
instead
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 of increasing their professionality.
Thus
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, when they change it at
last
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 they are still unhappy.
In other words
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,
instead
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 of making risky changes, it is much better to be happy by developing themselves in a constant manner. The second drawback is the possibility of losing their
money
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, especially for individuals who prefer to
risks
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 often.
For instance
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, gambling the Forex in order to earn additional
money
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 mostly leads to losses.
That is
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 why
risks
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 can be observed as inappropriate behaviour. On the other side,
risk
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 can be really profitable. Only the
risk
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 can bring a
person
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 to success. The only way to have something that
person
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 has not is by doing something that he has not experienced yet. But at the same time, doing something new is an exceptionally unpredictable action which can be named as risky behaviour, especially if people put their
money
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 into
such
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 a project. But
this
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 is the only way to achieve new results which can make a
person
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 successful. Changing the employee status of a businessman is scary, but certainly necessary to be rich.
For example
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, Some people In Russia say "Who does not
risk
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 those does not drink Champaign". Another advantage is that the
risk
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 is essential for converting
life
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 into something new and interesting,
otherwise
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,
life
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 can be boring and gloomy.
To sum up
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, taking
risks
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 in both professional and personal
life
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 is quite necessary in terms of
money
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 success and creating an interesting
life
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 despite disadvantages
such
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 as spending time following illusions
as well as
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 the threat of losing
money
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.

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introduction conclusion present
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion to better frame your argument. A strong introduction will set the stage for your essay, while the conclusion should clearly summarize your main points and restate your position.
logical structure
Improve the logical structure by using transition phrases and sentences to connect ideas more smoothly. Consider reorganizing some points for a more natural flow.
supported main points
Support your main points with more detailed and specific examples. While some examples are provided, they could be further elaborated upon to strengthen your argument.
complete response
Ensure a complete response to the prompt by fully exploring both sides of the argument. Expand on how risks can lead to personal growth and well-being, in addition to professional success.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Aim for more precise language and avoid vague or ambiguous statements.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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