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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that it is a good idea to give children a small amount of money each week to spend on what they would like.Other people think this is wrong and that it is a waste of money.Discuss both views and give your opinion

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One of the most debated topics is whether
if
Correct word choice
apply
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children
Use synonyms
 should be given
pocket
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money
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. By doing so it helps
children
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 to cultivate the habit of spending
money
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 wisely.
On the other hand
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, people believe
on
Change preposition
that
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 having
money
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 will encourage
children
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 to spend unnecessarily and
this
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 leads to
money
Use synonyms
 wastage. In my opinion, it is good to give
children
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pocket
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money
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 and
parents
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 could even use
money
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 as
Correct article usage
a rewards
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rewards
Fix the agreement mistake
reward
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 in many instances. Personal financial management is important to everyone.
However
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,
this
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 is not being taught in school. It starts with understanding what
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
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money
Use synonyms
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
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 to us and it is advisable for
parents
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 to start teaching about
this
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 at home.
By giving
Change preposition
Giving
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 weekly
pocket
Use synonyms
money
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 to
children
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 helps them to understand the importance of spending within one’s means.
This
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 forms a habit of budgeting and allows
children
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 to truly grasp the value of
money
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 at
an
Change the article
a
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 tender age.
In addition
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,
children
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 learn how to save up
money
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 for rainy days and
this
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 prevents them from getting into financial
troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
show examples
 once they grow up. On the flip side, giving
pocket
Use synonyms
money
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 to
children
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 means giving them the power to make
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
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 of what they like. Often,
children
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 are too young to differentiate what is beneficial to them.
As a result
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, it is highly likely that they end up purchasing unnecessary items which is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of
money
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
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, there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 always two sides to a coin. In my opinion, it brings more benefits for
parents
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 to give
pocket
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money
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 to
children
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 as they can observe their
children
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’s spending
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 and correct them if necessary.
Also
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, once
children
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 understand the value of
money
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,
parents
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 can even use
money
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 as a reward if
children
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 have extra achievements or if they are willing to help
in
Change preposition
with
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 house chores. In conclusion, managing
money
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 is a knowledge that many
takes
Change the verb form
take
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 a
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
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 to master. There is only
upside
Correct article usage
an upside
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 to
start
Wrong verb form
starting
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this
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 learning process early.
Hence
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,
parents
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 should start giving
children
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pocket
Use synonyms
money
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 as part of
this
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 education

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