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Band 6.5

The chart gives information about educational studying for both genders in three different periods regarding fulltime or part-time studying in Britain.

The chart gives information about educational studying for both genders in three different periods regarding fulltime or part-time studying in Britain.
#information #genders #three #periods #fulltime #britain
The chart gives information about educational studying for
both
 genders in three different periods regarding
fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
 or part-time studying in Britain.
Firstly
, the number of full-time participants increased for
both
 genders. Male numbers
starts
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 90
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 in the
year
 1970,
then
 after one decade, it reached to 100
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
.
While
, after two decades, it peaked
rearly
Correct your spelling
really
early
nearly
 200
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
.
Similarly
, female
students
 went up, but
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1970, it was half
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
,
then
, it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
200
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 in the
year
 1990 like male
students
.
Secondly
, female, part-time
students
 were dradually raised from 650
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 800
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 in the
year
 1970-1980. In the
year
 1990, it
increadibily
Correct your spelling
incredibly
increasingly
 went up and nearly peaked
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 one million
students
. The male part-time
students
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
recorded the highest number in the
year
 1970
then
 showed some fluctuation and it was nearly 820
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 in the
last
year
 1990.
Overall
, the participants for
both
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 are significantly higher in part-time education than
fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
. The number of
female
Change to a plural noun
females
show examples
 gradually increased in
both
 types of studies,
while
 the male numbers
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased in part-time education.
Submitted by bashdar981 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words both, thousands, year, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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