Most major cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate due to the massive increase in population. This has led to a general decline in the quality of life in city areas as the environment becomes more crowded and polluted. Give some reasons why this growth has occurred and suggest some practical solutions to this problem.

Over the past few decades, there has been a profound increase in the number of
people
electing to live in main
cities
.
This
preference has caused the
quality
of
life
to deteriorate
due to
overcrowding and pollution.
This
essay will discuss the reasons for the increase in population and suggest ways to resolve
this
issue. One main reason for
this
concern could be the better job opportunities that
cities
offer.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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many individuals are attracted by the chance to exponentially grow both personally and professionally.
For example
, an individual’s income in a major city would be much higher than their income in a rural area whilst performing the same job. Higher pay is essential to support their family and loved ones in today’s fast-paced world. Another reason could be that, by living in
cities
, they have access to world-class healthcare facilities.
However
, the lack of
such
equipment in rural
areas
and to ensure the well-being of themselves and their family, individuals choose to reside in
cities
.
Additionally
, in certain medical cases, these devices could be the difference between
life
and death. Despite these convincing reasons, the detrimental effects of the growing city population on the
overall
quality
of
life
cannot be ignored. To resolve these undesirable effects, the government can improve job opportunities in rural
areas
. Better employment is the main reason why
people
are attracted to
cities
. If the government introduces equally well-paying jobs in rural
areas
, the growth in the population in
cities
can be reduced. To
further
aid
this
cause, the government can organise campaigns that spread awareness and educate the public. These events could highlight the importance of a better
quality
of
life
and provide evidence of the significant improvement to
this
criteria when living in rural
areas
. In conclusion, the primary reasons attracting
people
to the
cities
are better employment conditions and advanced medical care. Steps that can be taken to resolve these concerns could be to improve salaries in rural
areas
and to educate the
people
on the positive effects on
quality
of
life
.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that it's closely related to the task prompts. This helps in maintaining coherence and cohesion in your essay.
task achievement
Use a variety of sentence structures to enhance readability and show your range of language skills.
task achievement
Provide a few more specific examples or elaborate on existing ones to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion nicely.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph is well-structured and logically follows one another, making it easy to follow the argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt thoroughly by discussing both reasons for population growth and suggesting practical solutions.
task achievement
Your arguments are clear, and you provide relevant examples to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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