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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what are the effects?

The number of
people
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 immigrating to
cities
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 has increased currently which has made
cities
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 more populated.
This
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 has influenced society in many ways and there are major reasons for
this
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 phenomenon. One of the most significant causes that more
people
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 are eager to move to urban
areas
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 is numerous job opportunities. There are many job vacancies offered in a city that enable
people
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 to pick one of them in accordance with their needs and desires.
Due to
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 living in villages, the youth had no other choices other than working on farmlands.
Moreover
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, the lack of recreational
areas
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 and comprehensive healthcare systems in the countryside has attracted a great population to large
cities
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. It is a fact that many villagers are deprived of an efficient number of nurses and doctors and have to travel to
cities
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 to find appropriate treatments. Moving to
cities
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 has affected the
areas
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 in many aspects including culture and population. The more
people
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 living in an area, the more probable it is to become overcrowded. In Italy, the number of residents has decreased as the youth decided to replace their residential
areas
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 with larger
cities
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.
In addition
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, what is quite noticeable is that the differences in culture are hard to deal and it might take much time to get used to the new environment. Sometimes newcomers do not observe ethics and the rules of living in a cosmopolitan.
That is
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 why old inhabitants find newcomers' behaviours quite frustrating. These two factors may negatively affect megacities. In conclusion, In spite of the existence of various facilities and higher employment rates in
cities
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, effective measures should be taken into account to prevent the population of small places from moving to
cities
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 to avoid cultural conflicts and being crowded.

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task achievement
Expand on the ideas presented with additional specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the transitions between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all parts of your conclusion are succinct and clearly reflect the main points made in the essay.
task achievement
You have identified important reasons for urban migration and provided relevant effects, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame your discussion effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overcrowding
  • urbanization
  • employment opportunities
  • educational resources
  • healthcare facilities
  • infrastructure
  • cultural exchange
  • migration
  • rural-urban shift
  • economic growth
  • quality of life
  • social services
  • public amenities
  • diversity
  • livelihood
  • standard of living
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