International sporting events are costly and bring problems to the hosting country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your position

#events #country #support #position

Inter-country sports

events

are expensive and bring issues to the

host

nation. I strongly agree with

this

statement because

host

countries

can spend the money to help their poor citizens, and

this

also

increases their financial

debt

since they have to take loans from others to

host

these

events

. Hosting

countries

can spend the money on poor citizens.

In other words

, many underdeveloped

countries

spend colossal amounts of money on developing infrastructure for these

events

at the same time their citizens die

due to

scarcity of food and water. Africa,

for example

, spent almost ninety per cent of their GDP in 2012 on hosting the Olympics

whereas

almost thirty per cent of people die every year in Africa

due to

water scarcity.

Therefore

, I believe that these

events

cause

a burden on many

nations

Further

many

nations

have to take

debt

from others to

host

these

events

This

is because these

events

cause

a major financial burden on the hosting country, which is why they take

debt

from the United

Nations

, and

as a result

, it increases their

debt

For instance

, India hosted the Common Wealth Games in 2010 by taking a major loan from the United

Nations

and other

countries

Hence

, in my opinion, these

events

cause

issues for the

host

countries

. In conclusion, international

events

are expensive and

cause

a burden on the country which hosts them. I strongly agree with

this

statement because

nations

can spend

this

amount to help the poor and sometimes they have to take debts to

host

these

events

Therefore

, I believe that these

events

cause

financial and other burdens on the hosting

countries

Submitted by KaranAwal15 on Sat Sep 09 2023

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task response

Task Achievement: The essay addresses the prompt, and the opinion is clearly stated in the introduction and conclusion. However, consider providing a more balanced discussion by acknowledging potential benefits of hosting international sporting events while reinforcing your strong agreement with the statement.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is logically structured and includes an adequate introduction and conclusion. Ensure that each body paragraph presents a clear topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence. Also, maintain coherence by using transition words to connect ideas more effectively throughout the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

costly
financial burden
infrastructure
security concerns
traffic congestion
public unrest
economic benefits
boost tourism
global image
branding
stimulate local businesses

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