Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring more advantages or disadvantages ?

#home #hands #machines

The technology of automation has infiltrated almost every business in the world, substituting manpower by streamlining processes and making them substantially faster with fewer discrepancies. I personally hold the view that the existing pace of automation of labour-oriented processes at home exhibits strengths only. The first salient advantage of having automated processes is enhanced efficiency. I believe

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a majority of the food we consume should better be prepared with

machines

to cope with rising market demand.

For instance

people

used to produce their own pasta, resulting in a lot of clean-up and time loss.

However

, they can now purchase or even order factory-made pasta from the nearest grocery stores at a considerably cheaper price.

Additionally

, the pharmaceutical industry has undergone a massive improvement after the application of automated equipment in the production lines, skyrocketing the produced medicine volumes which used to be part of a homemade solution.

Moreover

, as of now, a big portion of the daily household jobs that were once done by hand were replaced with modern and comprehensive machinery, saving them time and resources. To illustrate, in the past,

people

used to hand wash dishes,

whereas

now they have dishwashing

machines

that can clean far more efficiently than a human could manage.

Furthermore

, the invention of vacuum

machines

has compelled

people

to gravitate towards embracing technology rather than resisting it. In conclusion, despite some

people

perceiving technology as an enemy that wants to relegate humanity, I believe that with the help of these upgraded

machines

, humanity can make life easier for

people

to designate time for more prioritized tasks.

Submitted by orkhanshamil on Sun Jan 28 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that the essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages, as the prompt asks for a comparison. While your stance supports the advantages, bringing in some contrasting points about the disadvantages would provide a more balanced response and fully meet the task requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases, ensuring that ideas and paragraphs flow logically from one to the next. This can lead the reader through your argument more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

To score higher in supported main points, provide more detailed examples and explain how they directly relate to the central argument. This will strengthen your position and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

automation
domestic help
smart home technologies
energy-efficient
resource depletion
over-dependence
external services
maintenance
replacements
leisure activities
tedious tasks

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Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring more advantages or disadvantages ?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that government should spend money on the search for life on other planets, while others believe that is a waste of public money because there are still many problems on earth

It is better if an extended family for example uncle aunt grandparents are involved in a child upbringing than just parent alone. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Write about the following topic: Some people think that we learn best through in-person interaction with a teacher in a classroom. Others believe that online learning is more effective. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.