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Band 2

Nowadays many teenagers involve in crime. What are the causes for this?

#teenagers #crime
nowadays
Capitalize word
Nowadays
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 majority of adults
Add a missing verb
are impact
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impact
Replace the word
impacted
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of in
Change preposition
by
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 crime and
responsebilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 less
cause
Correct word choice
because
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 they have
desire
Correct article usage
a desire
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 to
be
Verb problem
commit
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 able
to do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
crime and they
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 interested
on
Change preposition
in
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 other things.
According to
 BBC
Add a comma
,news
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news
Capitalize word
News
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 teenagers are
depend
Replace the word
dependent
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 on crime. And they try to not take a work to be better so they can not understand things that older
personalaties
Correct your spelling
personalities
 can.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 they have
terible
Correct your spelling
terrible
 relationships with relatives the reason is
cause
Correct word choice
because
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 they suppose
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
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 hate them. So they try to catch the worst version of themself and
being
Wrong verb form
are
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 afraid
responsibilities
Change preposition
of responsibilities
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.
in
Capitalize word
In
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 the
last
 few
month
Change to a plural noun
months
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the
Correct article usage
a
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amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of teenagers taking drugs and
ignored
Wrong verb form
ignoring
show examples
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
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 and older experienced
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. Today almost 80 percent of adults try to
being
Change the verb
be
show examples
 bad. But
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 20 % try to be capable of being
better
Add an article
a better
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 version of
yoyrself
Correct your spelling
yourself
. They study well and try to catch more fluently all things.So they take
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
 and understand all
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
 like education or
working
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
.
Submitted by space4379 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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