The graph bellow shows the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 and 2010.

The graph bellow shows the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 and 2010.
The bar chart illustrates the amount of
visitors
to the three museums between 2000 and 2005.
This
essay will summarise the bar chart and compare
museum
visitors
each year. In general, the
number
of
visitors
to all the museums did not exceed 16
million
.
Also
, the lowest
number
of
visitors
did not fall under 6
million
. Met
Museum
in New York did not have a clear trend.
In other words
, the MET
museum
suffered a sharp decrease of around half the
number
of
visitors
in 2000.
Moreover
, the MET
museum
had an increase in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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steady rate of
visitors
until 2005 with
an amount
Change the quantifier
a number
show examples
of
visitors
of around 14
million
surpassing the peak in 2000. Edo
Museum
stationed in Tokyo faced a huge decrease of more than half the amount of
visitors
.
Thereafter
, the Edo
Museum
demonstrated a steady rate of increase in visitor figures.
Lastly
, the National
Museum
in China showed an
overall
increase in the
number
of
visitors
since 2000 until reached the highest peak in 2005 with a total of 16
million
visitors
.
Submitted by 3zoz.d18 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, museum, number, million with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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