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Writing Samples
Band 6

Once children enter school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social developments than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#children #school #teachers #influence #developments #parents
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As soon as youngster starts school,
teachers
 have more
influence
 on their intellectual and social development than
parents
. I strongly disagree with the statement.
This
 essay will discuss in detail why
parents
 have more
influence
 on their
children
's development.
Firstly
,
Parents
 are the most important educators in a
child
's life.
Furthermore
, they are first and foremost who
influence
 the
child
's basic values in life and these values will be instilled within the
child
 before they even leave their
home
 for schooling. Good manners and right conduct are
firstly
 learned at
home
. That's why there's a statement that says a
child
's action outside the
home
 reflects how they are raised.
For instance
, after school
children
 will go back
home
 and
parents
 will again oversee a
child
's education.
Moreover
, in terms of academic achievements and decision,
parents
 are the ones who
influences
Change the verb form
influence
show examples
 a
child
 more. Their encouragement is different from the praises that come from their
teachers
.
On the other hand
, their friends and peers are the
one
Change the noun form
ones
show examples
 who will
influence
 them with the way they dress or the music they listen to.
Teachers
 are
also
 important. They act as the second
parents
. They are the one who supervises the
children
 outside their homes. They
also
 give guidance and support to their students.
To conclude
, I believe that
parents
 are the first and foremost educators and influencers in their
children
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Teachers
 have
also
 an important role, they act as the support and guide of the students outside.
However
, they come and go but
parents
 will stay the same.
Submitted by Anneya on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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