Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older. While others thinks that they should stay at home with family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#parents #people #home

It is deliberated by certain people that children growing up are responsible to be able to live without staying with family.

Conversely

, some families have a mindset that a whole members should live together. In

this

essay, I will elucidate both perspectives in more detail and offer my personal viewpoint.

Firstly

, a better environment prevents the mind from getting distracted. Individuals have personal duties to respond with.

Hence

, if those are living alone or with a friend who has the same responsibilities, it will make workers more concentrated .

For example

, scientists had better spend time with other colleagues to improve their

work

more than their families for the reason that a study can be constantly revised. The growth of research depends upon the hard strives of its workers.

On the other hand

, inhabiting with a family will promote the feeling of safety and security. No one takes care of both son and daughter more than parents.

Furthermore

, a family in which members always talk to one another tends to accomplish

such

difficult

work

For instance

, one may not be good at

work

that they have to cope with , but it is suitable for another family member. On that account,

this

work

can continually progress by advocating from family. In conclusion, living with family when a child becomes an adult and not living with have dissimilar benefits.

Submitted by guita2808 on Sun Sep 10 2023

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Task Response

The essay lacks a clear opinion on the topic. Make sure to clearly state your own viewpoint in the introduction and express it throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay lacks proper logical structure. Work on organizing your ideas in a more coherent manner, using clear topic sentences for each paragraph and linking your ideas together more effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

228 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older. While others thinks that they should stay at home with family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Word Count

In many countries a small number of people earn extremely high salaries some people believe that this is good for the country, but other's think that goverments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In their advertising, bussiness nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries there is a shortage of suitable people for essential jobs. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it !

If countries are serious about solving traffic problems, they should tax private cars very heavily and use the money to provide free or very cheap rail travel. In what extent do you agree or disagree?