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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing skill is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#university #education #job #hand #people #skill
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Some people argue that
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 is an essential part of getting an appropriate
job
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 it has been stated that gaining significant
skills
Use synonyms
 and
experiences
Use synonyms
 would be more beneficial than
academic
Correct article usage
an academic
show examples
education
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 having more
experiences
Use synonyms
 and special
skills
Use synonyms
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
job
Use synonyms
 opportunities we might get, I am of the opinion that
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 is more important in the case of getting a good occupation. On one hand, some think that hands-on
experiences
Use synonyms
 are more critical than academic ones. Some developing countries have faced
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of high-skilled workers. In these countries, the state authorities think about their own benefits and because of that they are looking for some labour forces who
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 have enough
education
Use synonyms
 to work in private companies or have their own start-ups. In these situations, the payment that they will request would be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less than others.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there are numerous occupations which care more about
skills
Use synonyms
 than
adacemic
Correct your spelling
academic
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
.
For instance
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, being a make-up artist
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not require
Correct article usage
a high-level
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high-level
Correct your spelling
high level
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 of
education
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the high level of literacy rate is vital for our modern and technological communication. These days, even a simple worker should know how to read,write and do some mathematical calculations.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
societies need
high-qualifies
Correct your spelling
highly qualified
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 doctors, surgeons and engineers. If
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
societies
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
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 to stay
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top of the
copetition
Correct your spelling
competition
 with other communications, they should encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals ,who have the abilities,
intersts
Correct your spelling
interests
 and desires,
continuing
Change the verb form
to continue
show examples
 their professional
edducation
Correct your spelling
education
. In my opinion, good levels of
education
Use synonyms
 would broaden our horizons and provide us
more
Change preposition
with more
show examples
job
Use synonyms
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
. In
conc;usion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, getting
skills
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 can be an effective property
fo
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 getting a good
job
Use synonyms
 , especially in developing and industrial areas.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, I personally think that
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 can put more opportunities
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our way, which is a safer approach
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 being successful in our competitive world.
Submitted by shima.majidansari on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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