Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#criminals #re-offend #people #crimes #measures

Nowadays the great majority of criminals tend to repeat their crimes after punishment, which causes public concern. I do have an opinion, that actions must be taken urgently, or the life of society will suffer. Let us start by looking at the reasons why offenders still continue to do detrimental things.

Firstly

, illegal deals are the only way for them to survive. After release, previous prisoners do not know what to do: usually they have no home, no food and no family.

For example

according to

statistics, a lot of burglars confess that they can't do anything except steal people. Another point is the desire to show off, which is

also

affects on lawbreakers. There is one famous book named: "A Clockwork Orange", where young boys commited many crimes

due to

the fact, that they wanted to look cool. In fact, the certain amount of these boys did not want to hurt someone. In real life we can see the same trend: a lot of crimes are organized because some of us want to be part of social circle. Turning to another point, it is obvious that governments should create something in order to prevent wrongdoing. It would be great to create reeducation schools, where previous criminals after punishment in jales can live for the first time, find hobbies and understand how to make money because of these interests. Sometimes, real word is arduous for them, so idea to give them knowledge, place to live and eat seems to be nice. There are

also

o lot of organistions, which do not hire lowbreakers, so that school may submit workplaces as well. Taking everything into consideration, I would say that many individuals can face with different problems and we must do something to help them to avoid these problems.

Submitted by aida.ai2000 on Sun Sep 10 2023

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task response

The essay discusses the reasons why criminals re-offend and proposes measures to tackle the problem. However, the ideas are not fully developed, and specific examples are lacking.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a logical structure with an introduction and conclusion, but the development of ideas and examples could be more coherent.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that students in single-sex schools perform better academically. Others, however, believe that mixed schools provide children with better social skills for adult life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You recently went on a trip with a friend and you both took some photographs. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: * Ask your friend to send you a particular photograph * Explain why you need that particular photograph * Tell your friend what happened to your copy of it

Many people say that the only way to guarantee to get a good job is to complete a course in university education. Other claims that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, international tourism has become an important source of income. However, it also has negative effects. Do the benefits of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.