IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace

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Improved technologies have a major impact on the place where
people
Use synonyms
 are able to
work
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.
This
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 has caused individuals to be able to
work
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 in remote places.
As a consequence
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, there is a decrease in the number of employees working at an office. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss how the advantages will outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, working remotely has lowered the amount of pollution. A reduction in traffic will cause shorter commuting time and will give a reduction in carbon emissions.
Therefore
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, it will improve the environment.
For example
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, if the majority of big companies will implement
this
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 rule, it will solve major traffic jams and reduce carbon emissions. Another advantage of working out of the office is that
people
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 are able to combine holidays and
work
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. There will be an increase of
people
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 who will be working whilst they are going to their vacation destination.
For instance
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, if someone is able to get online
while
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 they are on an airplane, or in the car, so that does not influence the annual leave period. In the future, there will not be a need for an extra day of annual leave for that.
On the other hand
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, a well-known disadvantage of doing your job at home is an increase in distractions which will have an impact on your productivity. Families who have children would produce a lot of noise and demand attention from parents. That would make the employee aware of the chaos around and lose focus on his / her tasks.
For example
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, the majority of families have little children or a pet and they will ask for attention
while
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 you are trying to
work
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.
To conclude
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, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Not going to a specific place to
work
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 would reduce the dangerous gases from using a car.
Moreover
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,
people
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 can
work
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 remotely whilst going on vacations .
However
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, being around
people
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 who are not working could impact negatively
in
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apply
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worker's productivity.

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task response
Your essay lacks a clear thesis statement. It would be helpful to clearly state your opinion on whether the advantages of remote work outweigh the drawbacks, to guide the reader. Additionally, ensure that each body paragraph focuses on one main idea in relation to the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally coherent, with a clear introduction and relevant examples. However, there is room for improvement in the introduction and conclusion to strengthen the cohesion of the essay.
lexical resource
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses a variety of sentence structures. However, be cautious of repetition and ensure that the chosen vocabulary is always appropriate and precise for the context.
grammatical range
Your use of grammar is generally accurate, and there is evidence of complex sentence structures and appropriate use of verb tenses. However, be mindful of subject-verb agreement and article usage throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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