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Band 4.5

DIETING CAN PLAY MAJOR ROLE FOR KEEP HEALTHY LIFE .DO You agree or DISAGREE.

#role #life
In
modern
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the modern
show examples
 world , having a healthy lifestyle of eating is crucial for
overall
 health and improved life expectance. I strongly agree with
this
 opinion and will make my own statements about it.
first
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First
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 of all ,
although
 medicine and other facilities that fight
diseases
 and other
problems
 about health improved significantly in the
last
 decades there are still plentiful
problems
 that occur in
human
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the human
show examples
body
.
moreover
Capitalize word
Moreover
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, the main reason behind all these
problems
 is often consuming foods that harm one's
body
. To
illusrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
this
 , having bad habits of eating junk food or eating
in
Change preposition
apply
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excessive amounts of sugar
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc makes
individuals
 prone to
diseases
 ( obesity and being overweight ) which makes them
vulnurable
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
 to other
diseases
 .
In other words
 , those
individuals
 not only get fat and lose their fitness they
also
 have
problems
 that
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
eventually
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
 them to hospital beds.
Furthermore
 ,
individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have poor nutrition diet can get
diseases
such
 as heart
problems
 and diabetes.
On the other hand
 , there is
also
 a
phsycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
 part about having bad habits of eating.
Thogh
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Although
 in
contemporary
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the contemporary
show examples
 world there are lots of people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 suffer from obesity and
overweight
Add a missing verb
are overweight
show examples
 ,
individuals
 might not feel relatable to anyone and feel disrespected because of their condition.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 the main problem is that having poor nutrition affects your hormones which basically
controls
Correct subject-verb agreement
control
show examples
 you and your
body
.
For instance
 , the food that you eat
stimiluates
Correct your spelling
stimulates
 the hormones in your brain ,
eating
Correct word choice
and eating
show examples
 in excessive amounts results in negative effects on hormones which have control of your
overall
 life and psyhocolo gy.
To conclude
 , in order to have a
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 lifestyle the first thing is to consider your dieting which is by far the most important aspect.
Also
 , people
shouldnt
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
 forget that
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
body
 means
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
 mind.
Submitted by elnur.adil on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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