IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

DIETING CAN PLAY MAJOR ROLE FOR KEEP HEALTHY LIFE .DO You agree or DISAGREE.

#role #life
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In
modern
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the modern
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 world , having a healthy lifestyle of eating is crucial for
overall
Linking Words
 health and improved life expectance. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and will make my own statements about it.
first
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First
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 of all ,
although
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 medicine and other facilities that fight
diseases
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 and other
problems
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 about health improved significantly in the
last
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 decades there are still plentiful
problems
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 that occur in
human
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the human
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body
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.
Linking Words
moreover
Capitalize word
Moreover
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, the main reason behind all these
problems
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 is often consuming foods that harm one's
body
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. To
illusrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
this
Linking Words
 , having bad habits of eating junk food or eating
in
Change preposition
apply
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excessive amounts of sugar
and
Correct word choice
apply
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etc makes
individuals
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 prone to
diseases
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 ( obesity and being overweight ) which makes them
vulnurable
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
 to other
diseases
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 .
In other words
Linking Words
 , those
individuals
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 not only get fat and lose their fitness they
also
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 have
problems
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 that
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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eventually
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
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 them to hospital beds.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ,
individuals
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have poor nutrition diet can get
diseases
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such
Linking Words
 as heart
problems
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 and diabetes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , there is
also
Linking Words
 a
phsycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
 part about having bad habits of eating.
Thogh
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Although
 in
contemporary
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the contemporary
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 world there are lots of people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 suffer from obesity and
overweight
Add a missing verb
are overweight
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 ,
individuals
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 might not feel relatable to anyone and feel disrespected because of their condition.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 the main problem is that having poor nutrition affects your hormones which basically
controls
Correct subject-verb agreement
control
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 you and your
body
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.
For instance
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 , the food that you eat
stimiluates
Correct your spelling
stimulates
 the hormones in your brain ,
eating
Correct word choice
and eating
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 in excessive amounts results in negative effects on hormones which have control of your
overall
Linking Words
 life and psyhocolo gy.
To conclude
Linking Words
 , in order to have a
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 lifestyle the first thing is to consider your dieting which is by far the most important aspect.
Also
Linking Words
 , people
shouldnt
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
 forget that
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
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body
Use synonyms
 means
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
 mind.
Submitted by elnur.adil on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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